Honkai Star Rail (READER)

Blade Vs Jing Yuan - To draw blood

Worse than having to meet your in-laws after a bitter divorce, the said divorcee had decided to pay a visit to your peaceful home. His dirty shoes an intrusion on the peace of your clean floors. 

"I want my son." Blade barges in, crossing his arms over his chest. 

"What son?!" You exclaim in frustration, trying to lower your voice as your husband slept soundly in the room next to the main entrance. 

"Don't play dumb Y/N. That kid is mine." 

"Are you completely insane? What kid!?" Pinching the bridge of your nose as hard as you could, your nails accidentally dug in too deep, leaving a splotch of blood behind. You cursed, watching as Blade's eyes became fixated on your nose. 

Leaning down towards your face he reached down, opening his mouth to reveal a set of fangs. As he drew closer to your nose you nearly hurled, there was no way that your ex-husband was walking into your life after the horrible divorce you had, just to try and lick your bleeding nose. 

Shoving him away from you, the attempt to drive him out of your house was completely overshadowed by him clutching onto the doorframes. Fighting for dear life as you tried to expell the house demon from the home. 

"Where's the kid!?" 

"When was I ever pregnant you idiot?!" The idea of you having given birth was laughable, as you detest children with the greatest fibers of your being. 

Feeling an uncomfortable headache, you gave up on trying to throw the vampire out of your house, deciding to sit down and wipe the blood off your nose. 

"Let me." 

"No." 

"Please, Y/N. I've missed it, the way it tasted, how intoxicating-"

"Gross. Get out of my house you convict." You spit at him. He digs his invisible dagger into his chest and twists it in a clear mockery of your disgust. 

The groggy steps of your sleep deprived husband came to a sudden halt as he witnessed a nightmare inducing sight. The visage of you trying to push away the advances of a desperate and blood thirsty vampire. 

With a unreadable rage Jing Yuan charges at Blade, tackling him to the ground as you groan in annoyance. "Yuan- I'm going to but a bandage on my nose." 

"Yep!" He shouts while you leave the room. The two 'man children' rolling around on the floor pulling each other's hair and trying to strangle each other. 

Unfortunately, Blade was still in your house by the time you had patched up your nose. Your husband holding a crossbow to the vampire's beat-up face. 

"Was this your way of getting back at me, Y/N? To marry a low-life vampire hunter like him?" He threw out, receiving only the tip of a silver arrow to his temple in response. 

"Wow, great speech you narcissist! Make the happiest relationship of my life all about you." Throwing your hand up sarcastically you can't help but sigh, watching his expression change. Jing Yuan however, seemed pleased to hear your affectionate words. 

"I'm your best relationship?" He turns to you with a smile, not lifting the crossbow off of Blade's head as he swoons over you. 

"Of course-"

"Ok OK! Enough already. I just want my kid and I'll leave." Blade says, his comment concerning Jing Yuan who turns to you in confusion. 

"I Told You. I. Did. Not. Give. Birth." What he was saying made no sense to you, his claims were absolutely incomprehensible. The next thing he would ask you for was a magic lamp and a couple of beans.