Double Fault

Chapter 25

CHARLES POV:

The ringing returned to my ears, just like it had in the race this weekend. Except this time it didn't stop there, my body seemed to be paralyzed and I couldn't find the words. I was desperate to speak to Florence, her eyes looking up to mine as she kneeled in front of me. I could feel the pressure of her hands resting on mine.

All I could think about was things left unsaid. The idea of getting into a race car, and not getting out of one. The impact it would have on the people I loved, because I knew what it felt like.

I did my best to pay attention to Florence's face in-front of me, her eyes worried and scanning mine. I watched her mouth move, but I couldn't hear it over the buzz surrounding me. With every ounce of attention I could give, I focused on the pressure my hands felt. Her voice began cutting through the buzz, and I could hear a phrase cut through every few seconds. You're okay Charles, I'm here. Respirer [breathe]. Stay focused on me.

The buzz became quieter, and I now felt the uneven breath escaping me. "I'm. I'm sorry," my voice finally found, but I still couldn't calm myself. The only thing I could pay attention to now was my labored breathing.

"Don't you dare apologize. Tell me. Tell me what you would have said to me before the race," Florence's voice was desperate.

My mind raced to Sunday, the thoughts consuming me. That I adore you in such a short time. I look forward to hearing your giggle every day, and you're inspiring. I'm falling for you hard and fast Florence.

I looked up realizing that those words just poured out of me, Florence didn't lose focus. Her eyes locked on mine. "I feel the same way Charles, come back to me," her voice steady. "Breathe with me," she said prying my hands apart and placing one of my hands on her chest. I felt her steady breaths rise and fall, and I let it go on for minutes.

The buzzing faded to silent, only the sound of our breathing was left. I trusted the moment had passed, disrupting the rhythm and taking a deep breath on my own. "Florence, I'm so sorry," I repeated, it was barely a whisper.

She shook her head not moving, "no need to apologize," her voice steady. "Are you okay?"

I nodded reaching down and pulling her up from where she was kneeled in front of me. She settled on the couch next to me staying close. "I don't know what happened. I didn't mean for it to turn to that, especially not the night before one of your matches."

Florence reached out pushing the hair that fell onto my forehead back in its place. "Don't worry about that," her voice soothing. "Rejoins-moi pour une promenade [join me for a walk]?"

I agreed, the idea of fresh air was welcoming, and the sound of her speaking my native language felt like home.

We headed out of the room and down to the lobby. The night air was cool as we entered the streets of New York, fortunately they were not crowded at this hour. I let Florence lead us until we entered Central Park just a few blocks away. I fell into stride next to her on the walking path, feeling the strength come back to my body. She stayed quiet beside me letting me gather my thoughts, I appreciated how aware and patient she was with me. I reached out to her hand intertwining our fingers.

"Thank you," I finally said.

"You are more than welcome, you would do it for me," her response genuine. "I'm sorry about your race this weekend Charles. You're completely right, we need to be on each others side regardless of the schedules. I'm sorry I messed that up the first possible time."

"We grow together," I offered. "I promise arguments don't usually send me into panic, that's never happened before," my voice finally lightning with a nervous chuckle ringing at the end.

"I believe you," she said while stopping, a small smile formed while she leaned up and kissed my cheek. She studied my face when she was flat on her feet, her mind busy now. "Did something happen Charles, you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

I nodded my head pulling her hand to follow me towards a bench. We sat and I took a deep breath, "how much did you know about formula 1 before me?"

"I knew you drove the red car," Florence replied lightly.

"Oh my god," I groaned letting the laugh come out of me. "You know too much."

Florence kept the smile on her face but her voice was serious this time. "I know you come from a driving family. There's a picture in your living room hugging a racer that isn't your dad, you were young, but I didn't want to look into if further. That's your story to share."

I smiled thinking of the picture in my living room, and the fact that Florence was observant enough to remember it. "Jules."

"Who is he?" Her voice light.

"My godfather and role model," I shared as she leaned her head against my shoulder. "I grew up with him as family, and he was the best person and driver ever. He also invested and supported his time with me like no one else. Jules was supposed to be the one in the red car," I chuckled using Florence's phrasing. She let out a little laugh beside me as well. "He passed away a few years before I started driving in formula 1. I'm sure you'll hear about it in Japan, but he was in a horrible accident there and was in a coma for months before passing."

"I'm sorry," her voice barely a whisper.

"I was able to to have closure, I know he could hear me. But between him then my dad, I've carried the fear of things being left unsaid. There's danger every time we step in that car, and it's not fair to the people we love. Knowing what that pain feels like, I can't let it happen to the people around me." I felt Florence nuzzle closer into my shoulder taking a deep breath. I kissed the top of her head, grateful I was able to share. "I'm sorry to dump this all on you right now, I know it's a lot to share."

Florence took her head off my shoulder and looked at me. "Charles Leclerc, I think you are the strongest man I know, and I'm grateful for the men in your life. They sound wonderful," her words greeted me. "Thank you for sharing."

I took my fingers and rested them under her chin, pulling her towards me to share a short and sweet kiss. "If you let me, I'll always be here for you Charles," Florence whispered against my lips.

"The feeling is mutual," I breathed back. Florence then pulled away shocked.

"What was your race result by the way," she asked curiously.

"There's nothing cool about engine failure," I grumbled pulling her back to connect our lips.