I'm leaving tonight. [h.s]

4

Our debut single, What Makes You Beautiful, came out September 11th 2011. We filmed a music video for it and soon after it was released people were making ship names for all of us but the most popular one was mine and Harry's, Hazie. Harry and I did say that we would secretly make it obvious which would probably get us in trouble but never mind. Our debut album, Up All Night, came out November 18th 2011. We are now in the dressing room in London for our first show on our first tour. I was petrified. The boys had all family members at the show and I surprisingly had mine too. I didn't know my family was here until I saw it on twitter and tumblr right before I got told to go, Taylor was seen by the fans and paparazzi. We were waiting for our cue to come on stage, I was wearing a floral pink dress. My dress code was floral dresses, skirts and floral tops. The boys were smarter, I would say. The one thing I don't like about what I was told to wear is that during the tour I won't have bottoms to wear underneath my dress and it makes me uncomfortable as I'm worried that the fans in front of the stage will blow my dress up and you might see my underwear. I think I will ask Simon if I could get black shorts to go underneath.

*

The show finished. When we walked off I was met with Taylor, she immediately hugged me. I know that she knows how I felt, I mean she's done it before, she knows the feeling. Mum came hugging from behind Taylor and soon after that everyone started hugging. It felt good.

Taylor brought me and the boys some dinner as we didn't eat much. She brought us McDonald's and after that the boys and I had to head to our next destination. The next show was tomorrow so we had to leave quite suddenly. It felt like we were rushing but I reckon we will get used to it.

*December 23rd 2011*

It was the second and last Manchester show tonight. I was in the dressing room finishing getting ready, and I was also checking twitter. A couple of more scrolls, I saw a tweet which caught my eye as it had my name in it. After I read it I stared at my phone. It was my first hate.

on3direction1831901
i hate Kenzie Swift from One Direction. she's literally ruining the boys career, why couldn't she go in the girls group? plus her performance on tour so far is SO BADDD. i can't stand her.

I kept reading it over and over again. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know whether to reply or just leave it and not let it get to me but I knew it would get to me. I decided to not reply. Do I tell the boys this? I know I can't please everyone but I'm new to all this, same for the boys. Have they had their first hate comment yet?

*Last Show Of The Tour*

So it's been 6 months, 1 week and 6 days since our first tour started. A lot of things has changed since. The boys and I have gotten so much closer, Harry and I are still dating. A year and 5 months ish and still going strong. The management had put me into a relationship with Zac Efron, this has been going on since February and it's now July. I know I could break it off now but I wanted to make it look like a relationship by staying a bit longer. Harry's been put in many relationships since we signed the deal, many of the girls have been older than him but he has been telling me that he didn't like it and any kiss he doesn't mean it. I do believe him.

We have gotten used to performing but still nerve racking. We also started writing our second album, Louis and I thought that if we didn't have a major place in the band, the reason behind this was because Louis lost his verse in 'Gotta Be You' and I lost my verse in 'What Makes You Beautiful' and 'Moments', that we would start writing songs and doing the band a favour. On our first album we didn't write the songs, I mean Harry and I helped write 'One Thing' but we got given them. So Louis and I have been working on a few songs together and in fact we are writing one now. We have called this one 'Summer Love', we aren't sure if we were keeping this title but it gives us something to write about. I was still receiving hate messages, I felt like it was non stop.

Later that day we were all in a dressing room talking about the show tonight. It's our last show of the tour and it was going to be special.

"Boys have you guys got any hate yet?" I randomly asked, they all looked at me.

"I mean, I've had a few here and there but I'm pretty sure all of us had." Liam replied

"Yeah, same." Zayn said

"Why? Is everything okay?" Harry asked me

"Oh, yeah everything's fine. Just been wondering, I didn't want to be the only one." I replied

"Don't let it get to you, Kenzie. People are jealous and plus you can't please everyone I'm afraid." Liam said, I give him a big smile. I guess he is right, I just need to keep telling myself that.

*

Tour has sadly ended.

It was a brilliant first tour, I will always remember it. We finally get to be with our families after not being able to for 6 ish months. I'm going back to the USA for a few weeks to see my family while the boys are in the UK. During this time, the management have told us to start focusing on our second studio album. We need to finish it by August but we started recording in early May but need it completed by August. The set date for it to be released is still in the process but talks about it being in November. The photoshoot for the album cover is happening on August 5th. I will need to be in the UK before the end of July, so really I don't have long with Mum, Dad, Nolan, Austin and Taylor. Taylor is on tour anyways, I'm pretty sure. I'll be visiting my Grandma at the start of August but as soon as I get to the UK, Harry, Louis and I will be living together again.

We bought our house a few months back after Harry and I turned 17, Louis turned 20 last December so we were able to buy a house. We always talked about living together since X Factor and it's now happening.

*

It's August now. I spent 3 weeks with my family then came back to the UK. The boys met me at the airport and drove me home. The album cover is completed and the release date is November 12th. We start doing promos in October so we have a lot of time to ourselves now that everything is completed. It's nice to finally get a break from everything and just chill with the boys.

~~~~~
There are a lot of flashbacks because I actually start my book in 2013 but wanted to give you guys a few things so you know what has happened and basically what you need to know.

I hope you are enjoying it so far.