beautiful one, sharer of my longing

40: I love this bar

a/n: don't kill me for giving Naoya a happy ending. I know he's The Worst but he's handsome and that's all that matters to me!

And this chapter is named after a Toby Keith song

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When Geto and the others came home with the news that Naobito was dead, you almost threw up. Not because your father was dead, not because Naoya was now the Zen'in daimyo, not because the Kamos surrendered to them and you harbored a Kamo himself, but because Satoru did not come home with them. He's been missing for weeks. He's not coming back.

You let yourself rejoice when you saw Maki and Yuji and the others, you hugged them until your arms hurt. You helped Shoko to treat the wounded, you engaged Yuki about your type of man, you conversed with Choso (when he told you that Yuji called your child his baby sister, you cried real tears), and things settled back into normalcy. Haibara hugged Jun, Nobara hugged Mai, Yuta hugged Maki against her will, and yet you had nobody to embrace besides Geto with mourning tears.

"You looked for him, didn't you?"

"We scoured all the lands. We only found his horse."

February came. And subsequently a raging winter storm. If Satoru was not dead before, he was now. You thought of him freezing to death on his travels to shelter. Buried underneath feet of snow and negative degree wind. Oh, how he must have suffered.

Tengen's peace talks between the Kamo, Zen'in, and Gojo councils went well. Noritoshi promised for no bad blood (you could tell that he was mourning the death of his sister and hated your guts for it), that you all could keep Choso so long as he never went back to Kamo land, and that this new generation of leaders would be more secure in their allegiances.

"Now, Lord Zen'in, what say you to your sister?" Tengen asked openly.

Noritoshi had his new wife, Naoya had his fiancé, and you stood alone. You cared not for apologies. You were only here to see just who would lead your dynasty. Naoya turned to face you but you only stared at Tengen in front of you. Looking at him, thinking of anything else besides your husband was too much. You did not want to forget any moment with him.

"My sister," Naoya mumbled, "I will not rule like our father did...truthfully I will not engage in politics and instead focus on rebuilding our people. And...I'm sorry to hear about the passing of your husband...my brother." Your eyes shut with a shaking breath. You could feel everyone's eyes on you, but you had no intentions of facing them.

"Thank you, Naoya."

"I understand you asked for your army to let me live."

"I did." you whispered.

"I sincerely thank you," he mumbled from your side. He almost took a step closer to you, but he didn't. "Things will be better now." You nodded. You didn't believe him. How could your life go without your other half? Your beautiful, whining Satoru? The one who was not afraid to embrace you at any moment, who held back your hair and told you bad jokes as you threw up, the one who let you pick out his daily wear, the one who you could never depart from if he gave you the choice?

"Tengen-sama," you mumbled, "what happens now that my husband is presumed dead?"

They sighed heavily. "You have three options. You could either declare your child the next leader, remarry someone of Gojo blood, or give up the title altogether and give it to the next living descendant of Gojo Sakichi. You can discuss it further with your council and Geto-san. I know which option you are leaning toward, my Lady."

You looked behind you at Geto, whose eyes were sunken and looked absolutely destroyed. You nodded your head whilst he too, nodded with acknowledgement. I don't want the titles without him.