Someday, Ace [Rory & Logan]

9. Empty

[Logan]

Three years......it's been three years since I let the best thing in my life walk away.

And yet, every single time I drink I can still see her face on what ever girl is near. I can smell the sweet perfume she always wore. I can almost here her adorable giggle and melodic voice. All of these things are the reasons why I rarely ever drink anymore. It just hurts too much to constantly be reminded of what one has lost.

Worst part was I thought that by her coming to see me that day that we were going to work things out...how stupid was I? I woke up to a note on my pillow:

Logan-

We both know what needs to be done. This, us, it has to end. I love you, you know how much I love you....but right now it's not enough.

I have to figure out who I am before I can be everything that you need me to be and you need to do everything you want to like move to Palo Alto. Jump, Logan. That is where you need to be and we both know it.

I have faith that someday when time has passed, we will either find our way back to one another or will look back on what we shared as a fond memory. I hope for the first option but we will have to see what life brings I guess.

Love always,
Your Ace

That note ripped my heart out of my chest. What I felt was us rekindling was her saying goodbye. The whiskey burns as I down yet another glass.

"Mr.Huntzberger? Are you alright?" Asks Nadine, my assistant. Well I say assistant but she's more like my girlfriend, I just refuse to give that title to anyone since her.

"Yeah, I'm good. Just go," I nod to the door of my new office.

"Okay sir, let me know if you need anything. I'll have a car on stand by for when you are ready to leave," she says quietly, avoiding eye contact. She knows I'm drinking. She also knows why I'm drinking to some extent.

Glancing around my new office, all I can see is her. The pages of The New York Times scattered where I threw them only spur me to keep drinking. If only it could make me forget...

Since the move to our brand new New York offices, I knew it was only a matter of time before I would break down like this. All it took was seeing her name in the byline on the front page. It was an article about some political dignitary or other that I'm sure she looked up to. I can only imagine how excited she would have been doing the interview.

Ugh. I can't think like that. It hurts too much thinking about her. I even almost turned down moving to New York just to avoid being near her.

Who knows though....maybe enough time has finally passed.....maybe if I could just see her again....

These thoughts are dangerous. I want her so badly. I always have and I always will it seems. Who even knows if she's single anyway? Last time I spoke to her grandmother at a function she let it slip that she had been seeing that Jess guy again. Man I hate that guy.

I swish my cup around hearing nothing but the clinking of ice on the glass. I go to pour another round only to find my bottle empty. Great. Drunk with no more booze.

The room is spinning now....

***

"Ughhh, what time is it?" I groan, my voice sounding hoarse. Sunlight coming from the windows must have been what woke me.

"It's noon, Logan. You need to get up," Nadine sounds angry...

"Wha-how did I get here?" I am sitting in my bed. Last thing I remember was opening a bottle in my office last night....

"Lars and I brought you here after I found you passed out on the floor of you office last night. You promised me you wouldn't drink again," she still won't look me in the eye. I know I've f.ucked up.

"Hate to break it to you but I have a feeling I'm going to be drinking a lot more soon," my tone very unapologetic. She isn't my mother nor is she my girlfriend as much as she would like to be, she can't expect me to do whatever she wants.

"Why? Is it still because of that b.itch that left you? Huh? Is it? I thought you were past that, it's been almost a year since you've last gotten drunk over her,"she spits at me.

"Don't. You. Ever. Say that about Rory," I manage through clenched teeth. I will not stand for anyone to say anything like that about her, certainly not Nadine. Speaking her name rips through me like a white hot poker.

"Why? That's what she is. She chose to reject you, twice at that. She deserves t-"

She is cut off by the glass I've thrown against the wall next to her. I don't even remember picking it up...

"Get. Out. Now."

I watch as her frightened figure all but runs for the door.

What have I become?

Sorry I had to skip forward, they needed the time. Also please don't hate me...

I promise this story won't stay dark. I just think that if I were Logan, that is where my head would be.

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