Secret under the pillow

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Triggering things in this chapter so if you get triggered by things in this chapter please do not read and move on

I bumped into Simon on the stairs I was about to run up and into my room when he grabbed me by the arm and turned me around I winced when he grabbed my arm "What's wrong Brooke"

"Nothing Simon am alright I just need to get something out of my room" Simon looks at me unsure. He looks at my wrist and has a confused look on his face. He goes to lift my sleeve up when I mange to pull from his grip and run upstairs. I slam my door shut and put a chair up too it so no one can get in cause I don't have a lock.

I grabbed my blade from under my pillow and pulled up my sleeve. I look at my scarred wrist and think should I or not. I look at all the white lines that I have done in the past and trace them with my fingers as more memories come to mind on as why I did this.

I put the blade to my wrist and start off with one line

Then another.
Then two more
Then the last one.

All the pain and memories went away and I felt better. There was a knock at my door. I quickly jumped up and told them to wait one second. Then hid my blade and cleaned up my arm with one of my old t-shirts and made sure nothing would show and put my sleeve down.

"Who is it?" "It's Simon. Can I come in?" I take away the chair and open the door and simon was standing there I let him in and sat on my bed. "Do you need anything?" "No I just wanted to make sure that you were alright" "Yeah am fine" I lie to be honest I don't know how how I feel. I guess you could say.

Emotionless.

I feel nothing.

Simon waves his hands in my face snapping me out of my daydream"You sure" He says "Yes" I say with a fake smile resenting to be happy. Ha like I even know the feeling anymore. "Okay" He says then leaves. Let my dark thoughts consume me for awhile then I feel something wet hit my arm. I was crying. No not crying. Just. Tears. At that moment I knew how I felt and that is absolutely.

Nothing.

I punch walls.
But I don't feel angry.

I have tears.
But am not upset.

I play games with the boys.
But am not happy.

I cut my wrist.
But I don't feel pain.

Just nothing.

A/N I know SHE'S ALIVE am sorry for the slow update been stressed and dealing with lots of things try and update sooner bye guysssssss

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