Double Life (Larcel/Larry) *Trilogy*

Chapter 25

After the doctor had been, I only had to wait a few more hours before I could leave the hospital. The doctor said I was lucky. If Louis didn't find me when he did, I wouldn't be here right now and that honestly scared me.

I sat up in bed now watching Louis talk to the doctor. He wasn't smiling or showing much emotion. It was hard to tell what they were talking about but it didn't seem like very good news. Finally Louis came and sat down on the chair next to my bed which I was told by a nurse that Louis hadn't moved from that chair from the day I got in the hospital.

He gave me a small smile but said nothing. I felt really bad, Louis looked terrible. You could tell he hadn't slept for days since he had bags under his eyes and his usual loving, happy blue eyes were so dull. He also seemed very pale and I felt very, very guilty.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, looking down to my lap at my bandaged arms and then looking back up to meet his gaze.

He raised an eyebrow as he reached up and wiped a tear away. "Whatever for?" He asked.

"For all this." I sighed.

"Don't apologize. This is all my fault. My entire god damn fault." He shouted a bit and I couldn't help but cringe. "You wouldn't be here if I weren't so fucking stupid and realized just how much in love with you. None of this would have happened. You would be fine and we wouldn't be here." He whispered as he locked eyes with me.

His eyes were full or guilt and sorrow as his now dull blues looked into my tired and also dull green eyes. I couldn't say the words I really wanted to say to him 'I forgive you'. It was probably what he wanted to hear, it was probably what he needed to hear but I just couldn't say them. Instead I cupped his cheek and just smiled slightly at him. He leaned into my touch and closed his eyes muttering under his breath, 'I'm sorry'.

"Why did you stay with me?" I found myself asking out of the blue.

"I realized that you can't let go of the people you love because that hurts more than anything in the entire world. You can't just leave the person you love, alone. It's a bit like an obsesion but a good one because it's coming from your heart and it's real. And I was scared, no terrified that if I left you even for a second I would lose you. Forever."

"Thank you." I replied almost on the verge of tears. Yet again I really didn't want to say that, I just wanted to say 'I love you so much'. Why can't I just say what I'm thinking?

He smiled at me but quickly turned nervous as he played with his thumbs.

"Um Marcy. Uh the doctor, he, um, he said that i-it would be good for me to maybe, like, stay with you. Just for um a couple of weeks. I mean, if you, um if y-you don't mind, of course."

I guess if he comes and stays with me then we can work everything out between us and maybe start over again. I could make that work.

"I don't mind. Not at all." That beautiful smile once again lit up his face, the one that made me weak to the knees.

"Cool. So I'll go sign you out of the hospital and you can get dressed and then we'll go. Does that sound good?" He asked.

"Perfect." I smiled.

I watched as he got up and left the room and I smiled to myself. I got dressed and soon enough we were out of the hospital and getting into my car which after a lot of persuading I let Louis drive. We were going to go round to his house and get some clothes for him and that made me anxious.

As far as I knew his mum hated her own son for being bisexual and I'm scared to think what's going to happen when we step foot in the Tomlinsons house.