So It's Still You

Chapter 36

"I thought it was over, all I could think was I never told you I love you. What an idiot."

― Nora Roberts, The Collector

It's been two sad and painful months ever since I've stopped visiting Adam in the hospital.

Visiting him for a couple of weeks was like a daily routine for me. But after the third week, I stopped going there. The event that happened to me was just too painful to bear for a mother.

I had a miscarriage.

I can still remember the events that happened that day. The pain when I woke up, the bleeding and the fetus.

I remembered waking up in the morning with a mild stomach cramp. I thought it was just normal for a healthy pregnancy. It seems like I was still too tired although I just woke up. I remembered the feeling of a sprained groin. Not knowing what to do, I called Zeya right away instead of asking informatiom from Mr. Google.

By the time she arrived, I was bleeding in the comfort room. I was trying to stay positive but when I felt something more than blood, which is more like a clot, I honestly don't know what to do. When she saw me in the middle of the red flow, she quickly told me that I just lost it.

I spent the past months here on the bed in the small cabin by myself. I placed Zwalter in the care of mom, knowing she would be glad to have some animal company.

God, I miss them so much already. Including Adam. Recently, I saw on the internet that he has been released from the hospital.

I ignored my ringing phone like I did a million times and continued spacing out. Just then someone's voice filled my ears.

"Hey, Janine. This is Adam. I was just wondering why you weren't answering any of my calls. Anyway, if you're not busy, just send me a text message or you can call me. I'm free anytime. Thanks"

Adam.

After the voice message, his scent filled my nose. I closed my eyes as I inhaled his scent. I don't want to wake up anymore. Suddenly, I felt someone's weight on the bed beside me.

"I miss you." A masculine voice said.

I swallowed the lump building in my throat and released my tears.

"Hey, say something" he squeezed my arm.

Crap is this for real? Am I not dreaming?

"Okay"

Shit. I didn't recognize my own voice. It was so thick and broken.

"Is something wrong?" He asked and his hand sneaked on my belly where the baby was there months ago. I reluctantly removed his hand from my belly.

I shook my head. I forced myself not to turn and look at him so that he won't see my crappy face.

"Okay, if you don't want to speak, I won't force you to. By the way, I heard you visited me for three weeks and after that you disappeared into thin air. I personally looked for you in your place but you weren't there. I searched everywhere but I saw none. Not even a clue." He sighed "Then I remembered this cabin. I tried searching you here and to my luck, you're indeed here"

"Go away," I squeaked

"What? Go away?! No!" He shouted "If I do that, I'm just telling myself that I'm dumb. I'm dumb because I gave up on trying. You know what, if I go away, I just wasted everything I've done to find the most important person I've met. The person I cared the most."

"Shut up, Adam! The most important person? The person you cared the most? Stop kidding me." I rolled my eyes. "Everyone knows that you just kept me close because you need me! You don't have to explain yourself, Adam. I've clearly heard what you've said."