i'm a cheerleader.

twenty one

-Rebecca's p.o.v.-

She sat up straight embarrassed as I answered the phone.

"Hello??" I answered slightly angry.

"Hey Rebecca. Just wanted to see if you were gonna be home to go to dinner with Duncans tonight." She said casually. I sighed.

"No I'm doing a school project and it got late I'll be spending the night over here. I still have loads of work to do. Sorry though, tell Nancy and Brad I said hello. Gotta go, bye." I said and hung up as my mother said something. I threw my phone to the side and looked at CJ who looked like she had just seen a ghost. She was pale white. She looked terrified. Had I terrified her?

"Hey. You ok? Just my mum it's nothing." I said and I adjusted my underwear. She nodded her head slowly and pulled her hair away from her eye then looked at me and for some reason we started laughing. We had no reason to laugh, the situation was embarrassing to say the least. But we found humour in our awkward lives. The laughing quieted down and eventually we were left half naked looking at each other. Silence fell and the innocent giggled hang in the air. She broke the silence.

"So where is this thing going?" She asked as she gestured the space between us. I suddenly couldn't breathe. It was like all the air was taken out of my lungs and I was unable to put together a proper sentence. It was the one thing I dreaded having to answer.

"I dunno." I said simply.

"What do you feel when we kiss?" She asked. I shrugged my shoulders. "What did you feel just now??" She asked louder this time. Again, I shrugged.

"I'll tell you what I feel. I feel butterflies. I feel happy. I feel giggly. I feel like you're my girlfriend. And we both know you're unhappy with Brandon. He treats you badly. He's mean. I'll never treat you like that you know. If you were mine." She said. I sat for a moment.

"I like you." I admitted to her and myself. It felt as if those three words echoed in my mind over and over before I could continue. "I feel like I should feel this way with Brandon but I only feel it with you. And I don't understand it, CJ. I've never felt like this before. I've never had these feelings. I don't know how to treat a girl." I started and she put her finger on my lips.

"Stop. You don't need to know what to do right now for the long run. Forget Brandon. He doesn't exist right now. I just want to know what we are. Do you want to be with me?" She asked me.

"Yes." I breathed out.

"Ok. Simple as that. Now we are together. As of," She started and read the time on my watch. "8:18 pm on December 22nd." She said and I smiled. I had a girlfriend. But also a boyfriend. I had to do something about that.
---

CJ and I talked for a while. I had never had a girlfriend before, so it was all new to me. I didn't know who would be the boy and girl in our relationship, and CJ said there was no boy and girl roles, we just acted as we wanted to. It was a nice feeling. We spoke of being out and in the end decided not to be out. It wouldn't be good for CJ or myself. CJ would get bullied, as would I. My parents would flip and not let her back in the house ever again, I wouldn't even be allowed to speak to CJ. The fact that we could not be open made me sad.

"I'm sorry. One day. We will be out, and happy." I told her and she nodded her head and kissed me. It felt like our first kiss every time her lips met mine. Bliss. After talking for a few hours, we decided to go to sleep. I had to drop her off early in the morning. She still slept on the air mattress, she didn't want things to move too fast.

---

My alarm woke us up at about 6:15 am. We both groaned as we got out of bed. CJ rushed to my bathroom and did her hair. I did my hair quickly and put on some presentable clothes. After putting my shoes on I sat on my bed and grabbed my phone from my bed-side table. I saw I had a few texts from Brandon.

To Rebecca: hey. you haven't texted me since Sunday, just wanted to make sure everything was okay. love you.

To Rebecca: Becca, is everything okay?

To Rebecca: text me when you get these please.. i love you.

I read over the messages over and over. Every time I read "i love you" it made me feel sick. It used to make me smile a little bit but now it felt like he was insulting me. I let out a deep sigh and responded.

To Brandon: hey. we need to talk.

With shaky hands I sent the text and CJ came to my bed and told me she was ready to go. I looked up and she was wearing a dress. Not a fancy one, but a dress nonetheless. I had never seen her in one and it felt special because I knew that now she was mine. And everything under that dress was for my eyes only and not even in a sexual way. Her heart and her soul. Her everything. And I was hers in every way possible. It was the most amazing feeling.

"You look beautiful." I told her with a small voice and she smiled and looked down at the floor. I gently pushed her chin up to reveal her blushing cheeks and warm smile. I smiled and leaned in to kiss her. "Let's go." I said as I stood up and grabbed my keys. We walked out the front door together, for some reason my parents weren't up yet. Maybe they were on break too. We walked to my car and after getting in I rushed to her house. As I pulled up I saw loads of cars outside. It was 6 am why was everyone already having a pow wow? I had to park a ways away. I let CJ get out and didn't follow her. I was afraid if I walked in with her that her parents or family would think we were dating and be mad. I was terrified. CJ ripped me from my thoughts by putting her hand on mine.

"C'mon, let's go." She said as she opened her door.

"What?" I asked. Was she really asking me to come inside?

"C'mon, come meet some of my family. I want you to. You're a close friend to me and now you're my girlfriend on top of that, I want you to meet the other important people in my life." She said and I smiled as I took the keys out of the ignition and got out of the car. CJ walked to me and I locked the car as we walked up to her house together, my heart was pounding it felt like CJ could hear it as loudly as I could.