The mob leader's best friend is a nerd

Chapter 11

~Valerio's POV~

Trying to hold on, but didn't even know
Wasted it all just to watch you go
I kept everything inside and even though I tried it all fell apart
What it ment to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I tried so hard
And got so far,
It doesn't even matter
I had to FALL
To lose it all
But in the end, it doesn't even matter

- quote from In the end- linkin park

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The day has been utterly terrible. I had to change the sheets since I ripped them after Aria left me yesterday. I also broke an irreplaceable Chinese vase. 16 million dollars, bang! Gone.

I woke up with a headache and no appetite. I wondered if yesterday was all just a dream. A nightmare where Aria found out about me and we fought, but then I saw the broken vase and confirmed the hell happened. My famiglia keep looking at me with sympathetic eyes that I want to pluck out, but won't since they're family. Those lucky bastards.

Papi and mami tried comforting me, but gave up when they saw no progress and left me alone in my office. What they don't understand is that the only comfort I want -need, is Aria's. I love my famiglia and would take a bullet for those this annoying family of ten, but Aria is something else. She says the right words. Her smile is right. Touch is right. Theirs wrong.

Now it's six PM, and the surveillance camera still shows Aria outside. I want to run over to her and beg her to stay. Say that I'm sorry and that it would kill me if she left. That I would not mess up again. I would protect her properly this time.

Instead I've been switching between pacing and drowning myself in bourbon in my office. I haven't showered today and I'm sweating worse than a pig. My head is going to become bald by how often i run my fingers through it. My eyes have never left the screen on her and it takes me everything to keep myself in this room. No work is done and I threaten anyone that knocks the door. Except Aria. If Aria came I would beg on my knees for her forgiveness and tell her everything.

Tell her that this is all for her, for us. That I was, and still am, selfish and kill any bastard that closed in on us. On her. That I rose far above anyone else in order for us to be safe together.

I pour more bourbon in the crystal glass and drink it. It goes down like a shot. I feel my balance going off so I sit down before tripping on my own feet. Aria are still sitting there with that uneaten sandwich. She still haven't eaten and I want her to eat it so she doesn't get any thinner then she already is.

Angela, my sei (six), walk up too Aria and sit down. I can't see if their talking or not, but Aria doesn't look uncomfortable so I let Angela pass.

They sit there a hell of a time. How long has it been? Three hours? I look on my watch to see it's only eight PM, only two has passed.

Aria and Angela hugs. I see Angela say something to Aria so I try to read her lips, but it's darn hard with the distance.

"You know....what...what you...want to do?" I mutter to myself.

She know? Knows what? Has she decided? Will she leave me? Will she give me another chance at protecting her? A part of me want to run there drunk ass and depressed, and demand her answer, but another part just want to pull the trigger on myself and get it over with.

I won't survive without her. Can, but won't. I know I will see her again, but that will take years at least. My guess from seeing the reports I've gained so far is over ten years.