The Hidden Blood (Vampire Academy)

Chapter 17

“So you’re the dick that broke my boo’s heart?” Rae put a hand on her hip and her face had a furious expression.

I had never seen Dimitri speechless before, but there was a first time for everything… I tried to hide my smile that I gave to the floor.

“Rae…” I cautioned her, “There is no need to be rude.”

“Like hell there isn’t!” she pulled from my grip and I was afraid that she would start attacking Dimitri, and then he’d start attacking back.

"Okay," I said with a laugh, "I'll rephrase. No need to be 'Rae-kind-of-rude' when my children are around."

"Well was he not lying when he said he loved you?" Rae said dropping the cuss words, "Or was he not lying when he said he wanted you to go, after he took your virginity?”

I took a step back, almost like she kicked me in the stomach, or put loads and loads of salt into the biggest and bloodiest wound.

“Rae…” My mouth kind of choke back on my words, I didn’t know how to tell her how much her words hurt.

This was the one subject we were to never, ever talk about. It took months to get me to warm up to her, to tell her how he loved then left. In my head, it was just a memory, or something that happened and went unsaid. Saying aloud, made it real, made it harder to bear. Made it impossible to bear…

And having her throw those words back in my face?

Maybe, just maybe, what she said wasn’t real, maybe I made it up… But the sting was still there, hard and going strong which told me what she said was said, and not in my head.

I looked over at Dimitri, his mouth was open the slightest bit, his eyes wide, and he was looking at me. I was looking between Dimitri and Rae.

“Rose-“ Dimitri stuttered.

“Shut up,” I order him and he obliged.

I didn’t look at Damon and Mariah, to look at them was just too painful at the moment. To remember every touch Dimitri gave me, remember every kiss, every second with him training room and the secret looks he would give me when the sweat would drip over my body… Then how I had his children and looked at them everyday knowing that would be forever lost to me to feel that way again.

I bit back the tears and Rae covered her mouth, gasping. In a snap, and she ran over to me putting her hands on my shoulders. “Rose! I’m so sorry; I didn’t mean it like that! I mean, I meant it, but… Please, I didn’t want it to come out like that and hurt you… I wanted him to feel the pain you felt when you gave birth. The cries that would come from your eyes as you slept… I’m sorry, I didn’t want to hurt you, or make you relive those tragic moments.”

I looked away from her eyes, but she pulls my chin up to see her deep pools.

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry, please forgive me!” Rae’s tears were real, I could tell.

I gripped her wrist, and nodded my head. “Don’t ever…" My voice was dangerously low even for me, "Don’t ever use those words against me again. Do you understand?" I asked looking into her eyes, "Ever.”

Rae never liked it when I became bossy, but this was when she stepped down, and let me take the lead.

“I promise," she said not hestiating a second, "I’m sorry…”

Rae and I disappeared into a world where we were just alone. The sorrow filled my heart, and took over my mind. When I would fall asleep crying, Rae would come in and feed my hot chocolate tell me stories of a far off place. They didn’t mean a damn, those stories, but I would always feel better about myself and about these kids after hearing them.

I would look forward to the time where she would come in and tell me her ideas, and when my kids wouldn’t sleep, I’d have no good stories, so I’d tell them the ones that Rae told me.

With a simple touch, we shared and said everything we needed to. I held her hand and wanted to lean into her shoulder, but stood up straight and tall.

I blinked the tears away, and bit my lip. “Dimitri, I need to get my kids to bed.” It was a clear statement to leave, trying to let him off easy.

Dimitri licked his lips, and blinked. “Roza-“

“Rose,” I snapped, “my name is Rose.”

He looked hurt that I got rid of my old nickname that he gave me, and for the first time, I looked at my kids to see thier faces. They were a little scared and confused but I gave them a bright smile.

I flickered my eyes at Rae, silently telling her to get him out of here. “I’ll show you out,” she said to Dimitri opening the door for him.

“Goodnight,” he said to Damon and just got up off the bed.

I expected to fight him on this, but I was glad that he just left. I crashed down onto the bed, cuddling up with Damon, and Mariah came around the side of me and hugged my neck.

“Mummy?" Damon whispered, "What was that-“

“Hush now, Damon, when Mummy wants to talk about it, she’ll talk about it,” Mariah was in between my legs, lying up against my chest while Damon was leaning on my shoulder. Rae was standing aimlessly over the refrigerator, waiting to do something that didn’t involve her crossing her arms and holding them to her body.

I felt the same way, only now, I was holding my kids instead of my arms.

I just stayed there, looking off into nothing, while my kids fell asleep in my arms, my thoughts traveling to a world where I had my kids with a man that loved me, that wasn’t Dimitri.