The Hidden Blood (Vampire Academy)

Chapter 18

The TV was still on when I woke up, Rae was on the phone, probably to her dear old sweet heart. I knew it wasn't nice to snoop, but Rae wasn't making a big deal to be quiet.

I moved Mariah out of my arms, and set her gently down on the bed. I pulled the covers up around her small little body and went to the bathroom to listen to her talk.

"I don't mind it here, not really," Rae said to the person on the phone, "it's quiet nice here in this small, small town but I screwed up, bad, and now it feels even smaller."

I could see her through the crack in the door. She was sitting on the tub, her hand on her face. The way she was talking, with no smile and a depressed sigh told me she was talking to Granny.

I couldn't hear her on the other line, but I got some bits and peices like, "Dearie.... Patient... She'll forgive you, don't worry."

I already did forgive her, I knew she didn't like Dimitri, no matter how hard she joked about him being cute... She was the type of friend to defend me, even though I didn't need it... Right? I wasn't falling back for Dimitri, the thing in the hallway was nothing, long forgotten...

I sighed and put my head in my hands, the same gesture Rae is making in the bathroom tub.

"I hate him," Rae said, "I mean... He is cute and everthing, I get that he didn't know that she was pregaunt and he was maybe being honest in what he said, but... I don't know... Something about this place just isn't right. Every one is so on edge, and her friend Lissa? I think she's like a Princess or something, people act so weird around her. And they sleep during the day! Like Vampiers!" My breath caught in my throat but she continued, not at all believing we were real. "I like Lissa and all, it just seems like when I am near Rose and Lissa clam up about some big secret. I wish I could tell Rose that I would understand, I mean, we basically had these kids together...."

"In time... Even if she was keeping secrets, she has her...."

Rae rolled her eyes, "Ten bucks says they aren't good reasons."

Grandama laughed at this. "It's not that bad, if Rose is talking to you, then she forgives you. You said she did?"

"Yes, that's what she said but we never talk about how he hurt her... I wish I could make him pay," she licked her lips and her face grew dark. "I caught them in the hallway, I mean, I didn't catch them, catch them, but I knew that she was with him when I saw her blush. I haven't seen her blush before! I just feel like she is different with him... Guarded, but not aware exactly. I don't know how to explain it...." Rae was babbling, she did so every now and then when she was worried to an exptreme point.

I wanted to go in there and comfort her, I really, really did, but I didn't know what to say. Words were never exactly my strong point, that is the reason why Lissa is Queen and I left because I could never tell Dimitri this big secret that was on my chest. Or... well, in my stomach...

"I need some sleep, I'll call you tomarrow, Granny... Love you." Rae hung up but didn't come out. "What's the big secret, Rose?"

I stood up from the spot I was slumping at on the ground and walked in.

"Rae? I'm gonna go for a walk, okay?" Rae didn't ask where I would be going, I think she knew she would leave, or I would... After all, that's what I am good at: Running away.

It was getting tiring though. Always running, never facing my problems, unless it was a Strogoi....

I threw my leather jacket over my loose tank tops, and tennis shoes over my cold feet he sweat pants I was wearing was helping me warm up, so I was thankful for that. My lips were cracked a little bit from biting them and licking them all day, but I've had worse pain. I take off in an easy pace, just a regular old jog, not going anywhere in particular, but my subconious knew how to steer me in the way I had made my most memories.

The gmy's doors weren't locked, it was in the middle of the day so the kids were sleeping and I had the gym to myself. I threw off my jacket and before I knew what I was doing, I was breaking into a sweat, swiping and kicking the dummies. Boxing with the punching bags, and throwing some knifes. I would hit the bags harder when I would remember something he did to me that I wanted to forget. I wanted to almost forget it all... But those memories are what made me, and I have to stop running from him, from the memory of us.

We happened.

He broke my heart.

And then he has moved on (or I will convince myself of that) and I will too.

By the time I heard the door open, I was drenched in sweat, my fists - bloody (I didn't care about how I didn't put the boxing gloves on). I didn't need to see him, or hear his voice to tell me that it was Dimitri, and I didn't want to see him. Not right now. I probably just relived every conversation we had, every single moment. When he first trusted me with the secret about how his father liked to hit his sisters, and then Dimitri would hit him. ABout how I told him I didn't want to cut my hair because I liked it long, and he did too. How he gave me the present in the hostpital... Those moments that weren't so complicated, that were still a mystery. The memories that didn't hurt and weren't painful, those were the ones I cherrished.

I ran into the shower rooms, being careful not to alert him that I was here. I flipped on the showers and stepped under the H20, thankful that these walls are sound proof and he wouldn't hear the running water, come in here, and look for the person who is up so late. Or early.

I didn't have any shampoo or conditioner, but we always had some in the locker rooms and I grabbed some massaging the soap into my hair. The water was a little bloody from my wrists, but I didn't care. I probably stood there for a while, just letting the water run over my body.

I should check in to see if the Academy needs any help...

Dimitri has every right to see my children, I know that, but that doesn't mean he has the right to see me.

I needed to not over think this, he was right: Love fades, and his did.

As time passes and I don't come out of the shower, I realize that even though I knew that he couldn't hear the water running in here, didn't mean I couldn't hear him out there. There was a bang, and then some other noises that sounded like cries and howls.

I stepped out of the water, shutting it off and letting the towel hang around my body. I opened the door and ran out, seeing something that I never ever expected to see before this week: A Stogoi in Vampier Academy.