I Never Imagined ✔️

Chapter 6: Insights

(Victoria)

Envy. Anger. Resent. That's all that's consuming me at the moment. It feels like a large wave in the ocean, when you're standing in the wet sand and letting the cold water flow through your toes. And then you shake the seaweed off of your toes when it gets tangled around them. 

I'm lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, with my book pressed to my chest and with my feet against the wall. I feel like I'm going to explode and crackle inside. All my emotions are just weighing down inside of me and it's not going to end well. I'm hugging my comforter along with my book, and just taking deep breaths to alleviate the pressure inside of me. 

But so far, nothing is working. It just feels like someone is pulling my emotions out of me one by one. Unfortunately, this isn't the first time that I've experienced this.

"You doing okay, Victoria?" my brother, David, asks. 

I look at him, without moving from my bed, and say, "Does it look like I'm okay?" 

David comes over to my bed, sits down, and looks at me with a concerned look. I move a little bit to adjust myself, and he just pats my arm a little bit. "You can talk to me. You know I'm never going to judge." 

I sit up a little bit, push my hair out of my face, and look at David. "I've been feeling really down lately. I don't know whether it's just teenager hormones, but something has just been bugging me." 

David tilts his head to the side, and says, "Talk about what's happened in school. It can release what's on your chest for sure. I've done that several times, and it's just helped me unwind." 

Taking his advice, I hug my pillow a little bit more and just let it out. I'm telling him about how much jealousy, anger, resent, and to some extent, guilt that I'm feeling because of everything that's happening at school or not. 

He, being the good brother he is, sits there and nods throughout the whole thing. He takes notice of the parts in which I seem to excessively rant in, and parts in which I seem to be overly emotional in as well. After the rant, true to his word, I feel a lot better. 

My emotions seem to have piled itself into an actual blob that's decipherable. I no longer feel like someone is pulling on them and that I'm about to explode. David scoots up a little bit, and says, "Victoria, why are you so bitter about Sophia? She's found her way. Why don't you find yours? It's still not too late." 

I shake my head, and say, "You don't understand, David. She was the bane of my childhood. Every day, I would get my head filled with random bullshit about how Sophia was better than me. That's just so damaging to someone growing up." 

David nods, and says, "Fine, I get that. But that was years ago. Mom doesn't really compare you to Sophia anymore. She's given up on comparing you. Honestly, Victoria, just because Mom is so hell bent on trying to make you like Sophia doesn't mean you give in. Being your own person is just so important and if you don't do that, you can't find your way. If you aren't your own person, you don't know your own mind, and you just go in paths that can lead to a confusing final destination. Establish yourself, and make yourself you. That's all I can say." 

I let out a large sigh, and flop back on my bed. After all that ranting, I feel absolutely exhausted. I need a nap, but then I remember I have so many more assignments to complete. I may be one to rant, but I'm also one to be responsible and finish everything on time. 

"Well, David, that's decent advice. I'll take it. But remember, I have everything against Sophia. So if she tries to act funny, then I know how to clap back." 

David gets up from the bed, and says, "No problem. Just don't do anything stupid, okay?" 

I make no promises, David.

****** She's so gorgeous it's insane. Just the way that she moves, talks, and looks is envy worthy. She prances around the campus with those dark tresses and doe eyes. The ears of many people are blessed with the sound of her honey like voice. She steals the glances of every guy in the school with the poise and elegance she expresses every day in her step. 

For years, I've envied to be like that. For years, the thought of being like her was drilled in my brain, almost permanently. Everything about her is envy worthy. Is that the reason my contempt for her is so high?

The memories of her being this graceful are still fresh in my mind. Whenever we would carpool, her speech and actions were nothing short of elegant. My mom and dad would always look at her with such admiration, as if she was their daughter and that they were so proud of her. I tried to brush it off, but it crept into my bloodstream and flowed throughout my body. It seemed to never flow out of it, leaving the resent inside of me for years.

Sophia's attitude is contagious. Especially with Ray. The smile on her face when she's with him seem to be painted on him for the rest of the day. He glows, like the moon, every time he's spent time with her. They bring out the best in each other. It's obvious. They're made for each other.

Maybe that's the reason it took so long for the resent to leave my bloodstream. 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now we finally get to see Victoria's point of view on this. Looks like she isn't too fond of Sophia. And it looks like she's got some juicy secrets Sophia doesn't want getting out. What kind of information do you think will make Ray change the way he looks at Sophia? Let me know in the comments below. 

Hello, my dears! How are you all? I know this seems like an unnecessary chapter, but we haven't seen much of Victoria lately. Plus, she has a backstory to all of Ray and Sophia's happiness. So, I wanted to share it with you guys. 

Now that we're done with all of that, I just wanted to say something really quickly. Over the course of a week or so (as of 8/5/2018), I've bumped up to #34 in the tag #firstperson, #37 in the tag #senior, #577 in the tag #youngadult, #967 in the tag #bestfriends, and #110 in the tag #imagination. And it's all thanks to you guys. I never imagined (haha, pun intended) me ever reaching this high of ranks, ever. If I seem like I'm overreacting right now, then I guess I am. Because this is my very first story on Wattpad, and I never thought I would ever get this many reads and love. So, thank you guys so much! You guys really are the best readers ever. Stay awesome!

Please vote/comment/follow/message/share if you like this story!  I'll see you guys next week with a new chapter of I Never Imagined! Have a wonderful week!

Love you all so much, 

S.V.T.S