Beautiful Mess (Book I)

Chapter two

"I sat with my anger long enough, until she told me her real name was grief."

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•Kyle•

I hate this.

I hate this so much.

The girl to my left has shared her goal for today and it's my turn now. Great.

"To not feel angry at myself," I mumble without looking up.

I say this each morning, and at the end of the day, my answer is always the same. 'Yes, I've achieved my goal.' I wish that was the truth, but it's far from it. I loath myself so much that I'm convinced I'll never be happy. That's why I'm incapable of achieving my 'daily goal'.

But if I keep pretending, maybe I'll be able to convince them that I'm okay and earn my key to freedom. 

When it's time for gym, I take a seat in the far corner of the room, alone as usual. Keeping my head down, I hear the occasional shouts of victory as a bunch of boys and girls play basketball together.

I've never joined them. I've never interacted with anyone or got involved in any type of activity here. I work out in my room where I can get privacy.

Well, not complete privacy. There's Oliver, and he's like a whole crowd all by himself. From the moment I first met him, I knew we wouldn't get along. But then again, I never get along with anyone. He's loud, friendly, and optimistic-- the exact opposite of me.

But of course, he's battling with his own mind just like the rest of us. His huge smile might have fooled people in the outside world, but we can see right through him. He's here for a reason, after all.

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"Are you excited?" Oliver's cheery voice shakes me awake from my slumber.

Awesome. The perks of being a light sleeper.

"What?" I mumble, closing my eyes again.

"The group therapy." From the tone of his voice, I can imagine the amused look on his face. He likes to annoy me every chance he gets, that's why I know he's going to milk this situation for all it's worth.

"What?" I repeat, already fed up with the conversation.

"Have you gone deaf? I'm talking about the group therapy that we'll be placed in tomorrow. Does it ring a bell yet?" He's probably raising his brow at me like I'm supposed to know whatever the hell he's blabbering about.

I almost say 'what?' for the third time, but I stay quiet instead to make it clear to him just how little I care about the topic.

Oliver is quick to notice the reason behind my silence. "I know you don't give a shit, but I gotta talk about this because I'm so fucking excited."

Excited? What the hell is wrong with this guy? Is he even a human being?

"Are you playing dumb or what? You were right there when the nurse told us about it. You're probably so overwhelmed with joy that you can't even form a coherent sentence." The sarcasm dripping from his voice annoys me as usual.

"The other nurse, what was her name?" he continues. "Maddie, Cassie... I don't know, who cares? She said kids with similar situations would be placed in the same group so they can relate to each other's pain... yada yada yada."