Beautiful Mess (Book I)

Chapter twenty-four

"Just one person is enough to keep someone going."

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•Rae•

"Someone will be joining this group today," Shelley informs us as we all take our seats in the circle.

The only person who seems excited by the news is Star. Noticing her look of anticipation, I hope it would be someone she can befriend in place of May.

There's a knock on the door but it gets cut off as someone else pushes it open. A tall guy with short dark hair walks in. The nurse behind him glances at Shelley apologetically before heading back.

"Welcome, have a sit," Shelley gestures to the only empty seat in the circle which is right next to me.

He stands there for a while before slowly walking over. After he sits down, we glance at each other at the same time and he nods at me in greeting.

"Hi," he says in a dry tone, staring at me blankly.

"Please, introduce yourself," Shelley tells him.

"I'm Ryan." He gives her an obviously fake smile.

She nods and puts on her glasses.

"We're glad you joined us. You can call me Shelley, and you'll get to know the others as you spend more and more time with them."

Ryan glances at me and looks back at her with a smirk. "Looking forward to it."

I notice Kyle's annoyed expression before the session begins.

*     *     *

As I'm sitting with Star in the gym, I see Ryan walking towards me.

He sits down next to me and I can feel his gaze on the side of my face. "You're pretty."

I look at him in surprise. What kind of greeting was that?!

"Aren't you gonna say thanks?" he asks, and I look away silently praying for Kyle to come save me from this... conversation, I guess.

"Um... I'm gonna go play with Oliver and Megan. Bye," Star tells me before slipping away. I follow her with my eyes as she jogs over to the basketball court.

Great. Now I'm all alone with him...

I feel his stare at the side of my face and feel extremely uncomfortable. I forgot what it's like to be approached by a boy and to be stared at like this. It reminds me of my last year of highschool, how boys would sit with me at lunch trying to hit on me. But of course, thanks to Kevin I didn't want to get into a relationship any time soon.

"Wanna know why I'm here?" his deep voice brings me back to reality. "I mean why I'm in this place, not why I'm sitting next to you."

Too bad because the latter is what I'm interested in finding out.

Okay that was kind of rude. Why am I even thinking of him as some kind of villain. He hasn't done anything to me.

But still... I just don't feel like talking to anyone. Except Kyle.

"Oh come on, pretty girl. Pretend to be interested at least. You're hurting my feelings," he says sarcastically.

I see Kyle walking over to us and I can't help but breathe out in relief.

"Can we help you?" Ryan asks him as soon as he reaches us.

"This is my seat," Kyle says calmly.

"Oh, sorry, is it yours?" Ryan seems genuinely apologetic until he looks down at the chair closely and a smirk forms on his face. "I don't see your name written here, though. You must be mistaken."

Both Kyle and I give him an annoyed look and I shrug, telling him to leave him be for now. Kyle breathes out in annoyance before walking away. He takes the closest seat to us which is about ten feet away. I stifle a laugh as I see him glaring at Ryan.

"What's his deal, that douchebag," Ryan mutters and looks back at me. "So, where were we... yeah right. You were asking me how I ended up here?"

You're the douchebag. I scoff.

"I would've assumed you were mute if I didn't hear you talk in the group yesterday."

I want to walk away but judging by the way he's behaving, it would definitely cause unnecessary drama.

"My mom is mute," he states suddenly.
I pause and slowly turn towards him. He has this heartbreaking look on his face that hadn't been there before, making me feel guilty for judging him without knowing his story or what he's been through.

"I miss her," he whispers and nods to himself as if I'm not even there.

I look ahead and notice that Kyle is still glaring at Ryan. The situation is rather amusing, but I'm also worried that they'll get into a fight.

The time goes by slower than usual. Was an hour always this long? Ryan didn't say a word after mentioning his mom, which is weird because he seemed to be in a chatty mood from the moment I met him.

Kyle and I have been making eye contact often, and I had to fight the urge to just get over there and sit next to him.

When our time is done, Kyle walks over to me. Ryan waves goodbye before exiting the room.

"Was he bothering you? What did he say?" Kyle asks me.

"No, no. He wasn't bothering me at all, don't worry."

"Tell me if it gets uncomfortable, okay? I'll deal with him."

"You sound a little... jealous." I raise my eyebrows, trying to lighten the mood.

"So what if I am?" He raises one back.

"This is no place to get jealous over simple things," I say without thinking, but regret it right after seeing his playful expression change into a disappointed one.

I hate to remind him of the fact that we're in a mental hospital. I should've just went along with the joke without bringing that up.

"This won't last long, you have to know that," he says with a serious look. "You saw that I almost got released yesterday, right? We'll both be out of here soon. Take my word for it."

"How come you're so... confident and determined?" I wonder out loud.

"I don't know." He shrugs. "I believe in us, I guess. Especially you."

I give him a weird look. "You believe in me?"

"Why are you surprised?"

I don't know... I just don't think I'm gonna get better. Even before I lost my parents, I knew I needed help. But I was in denial. And now that they're gone... I don't think I can ever be normal again. Sometimes I feel like I can move on, but grief doesn't leave you that easily. Even love can't heal that kind of pain. I'm living proof of that.

Wait... Love? Am I admitting that I'm in love with Kyle?

Who am I kidding, I've known that for a while now.

"You know what?" He frowns as I stay quiet. "I want you to promise me that you won't give up no matter what. This is just temporary, you know that. You're gonna look back at this someday. You're gonna remember the time that you didn't believe in yourself, and you'll think 'it seemed impossible then but here I am now'. I just know it, Rae. If I believe in you this much, why can't you do the same?"

I stare at him, too stunned to say a word.

"Promise me you won't give up on yourself." He leans down a bit to look into my eyes.

I nod. "Okay, I promise."