Beautiful Mess (Book I)

Chapter fifteen

"It's dangerous how attached and addicted you could become to someone."

---------------------------------

•Rae•

"Really?" I ask Kyle in disbelief.

We've been talking about our high school experiences and he just told me that his principal tried to hit on him.

"She flirted with a lot of students. Some liked it, some didn't. She was attractive and even the married teachers had a crush on her. She got fired last year."

"Wow." I chuckle. "There was a lot of drama in my high school, but nothing as crazy as that."

"Hey, include us in your conversations once in a while. We're feeling left out!" Star tells us, playfully raising her brows.

As we turn to face her, May pulls her back and gives us an apologetic smile.

"Sorry, she's kidding. You don't have to--"

"No, it's okay," I tell them, but Kyle remains silent. I know he doesn't like socializing, neither do I but Star is an amazing person and I don't wanna upset her.

"Stop being nice!" Star bursts out laughing. "I just wanted to see your reactions and it's exactly as I imagined it to be. Kyle looked like he wanted to run away. But don't worry, guys. The only time I see you two talking is when you're together, and I wouldn't dare get in the way of that."

Star and May giggle as they get back to their conversation.

Turning to Kyle, I shake my head in amusement. "She's crazy."

"She is." He chuckles.

"Where were we... yeah, you were telling me about your principal."

"I was done with the story. It's your turn, Rae."

"Well--" I freeze and the words get stuck in my throat.

"What's wrong?" He frowns.

"O-oh nothing. You just... you called me Rae, and I--uh... it took me by surprise." I try to explain. Why the hell am I stuttering?

His frown gets replaced with a look of realization. "That's what I've been calling you for a while now. In my head." He hesitates before adding, "Starting from that day... you know, the day you told me that no one calls you Rae anymore since your parents passed away."

I did tell him that two weeks ago, but I didn't expect him to be this thoughtful. If my name was a mouthful, I would've assumed that he just wanted to shorten it. But it's not that long in the first place, so I can't help but believe he's trying to make me feel better. And I appreciate it.

"Thanks," is all I can say.

"Stop it. You're always thanking me for no reason. It's a bad habit." He teases.

"You're supposed to say 'you're welcome'." I raise my brow at him. "Didn't your mother teach you any manners?"

Oh no.

What did I just say?

Out of all the things I could've said, I made a joke about his mother?

Kyle looks away, all the playfulness wiped from his face.

"I'm so-- oh God, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to--"

"It's fine, stop it." He looks at me and I feel relieved seeing the genuine look on his face.

I don't know anything about his parents. Ever since he told me that they're dead to him, I made sure to not ask him for an explanation. The last thing I want is to make him feel uncomfortable. If he wants to talk about it, he wouldn't wait for me to ask. Right?

Maybe he would.

I decide to ask him indirectly. "Why don't you have visitors?"

His eyes are focused on the basketball match. "I don't have any friends. The people I used to hang out with... they're not--" He pauses and I can see the hesitation on his face. I feel like he has a lot of secrets that he's not ready to share with me yet.

"And my parents... they abandoned me. They just... left me here like I meant nothing to them. But you know what? They don't mean anything to me either. They're dead to me. I'll probably never see them again and I don't give a shit."

You do, Kyle. You care.

"Don't feel bad for me." He frowns, noticing the look on my face. "I just told you that I don't care. They don't either. So don't look at me like that."

I nod but he isn't buying it. "I'm serious, Rae. If there's one thing I hate, it's when people pity me."

"Okay, I won't. I promise."

"Anyway," He changes the subject. "You were gonna tell me about your high school."

"Well... there's nothing worth telling. I didn't really have friends. I had conversations with my classmates here and there but that was it. I've only dated one guy and it didn't end well. I tried to not let it affect me. But whether I like it or not, I have trust issues because of him."

I glance at him and the blank look on his face makes me laugh. "I know you hate it when people feel bad for you, but you also hate feeling bad for people? I guess it makes sense."

"I treat people the way I want to be treated." He shrugs.

"What if I want you to pity me?"

"I still won't."

"You're a jerk then."

He glances at me, raising his eyebrows in amusement.

I look away, biting my lip to hide my smile.

He brings out the playful side of me. The side I didn't think I'd be able to show for the rest of my life.

*      *      *

"Hey, Raelyn? Did you fall asleep yet?"

I open my eyes and turn to my other side to face Jill. But I close them once again realizing there's no point in staring at the darkness. "No, but I was about to. Why?"

"I just wanted to talk. I can't sleep."

"Oh, okay."

"Tell me about that dude you hang out with every day."

"Kyle?" I ask in surprise.

"You didn't think I've noticed? You two look adorable together. You're almost unrecognizable when you're with him. You talk to him willingly which is a miracle in itself." She chuckles.

"I talk to you willingly too."

"That's because you're stuck in this room with me."

"True." I laugh, and she joins me.

"He's cute though. I don't blame you for flirting with him on a daily basis."

"We don't flirt." I chuckle.

"What do you do then? Talk about the weather?" She snorts. 

If only she knew how much it helps me to talk to him. Better than therapy could. Our friendship means a lot to me, and I don't want to lose it. Because when someone becomes the light in your life when you thought you'd always be in darkness, you don't take them for granted.

I won't take Kyle for granted.