The Words I couldn't Say

Belong

Being somewhere
And belonging
Are two very different things

You might have nowhere to go
No where to be
But you find others like you
And fit in easily

You might be in a crowd
Full of people
But feel even more lonely

It's seems easy enough
To find your kind of people
I mean how hard could it be?
It's so much harder than it seems

Maybe it's just me
You see
I have friends
And they're my people
But that doesn't stop me
From feeling so out of place

I sit at the table
People laughing and talking
The popular kids all around me

I try hard
To act normal
But I can't forget
These are not really my people

I'm not used to the popular kids
I'm not used to knowing everyone

I'm surrounded by people
And still I'm alone
And I know
I do not belong

I'm a quiet girl
That likes weird people
The popular crowd
Doesn't fit my label

I miss my own table
My own people

It makes such a difference
When you realize the people you hang out with
Are really only there because you feel alone inside

I don't particularly care about them
Nor do I think they're my friends
But they all jell together so well
And just attached me on the end

I don't belong here
I know I don't
I don't want to talk about
Drama, sex, or your ex

I don't even listen to what you people say
I'm only here
Because there's no where else to stay

Even though my best friends there
It's not the same

She works well with them
She likes them
She can fit in with them
She tolerates them

You know the saying
"Any friends of yours are mine"?
I've never felt so far from something before

It's just so odd
How you've changed
Since them
Not just them but over the years

I can't tell you this
I don't want you to be mad
So that's why it's here

The amount of boyfriends and girlfriends you've had
The weed
The alcohol
How desperate you are

It's all so different
It's...
Not like you

I'm not here to say
I don't want you to stay
I want you stay and never leave my side
I'm just scared of change

If you read this
If you see this
Text me this
"Belong. Let's talk about it."

I'm sorry
I don't fit in

I'm sorry I don't

Belong

Being somewhere
And belonging
Are two very different things

You might have nowhere to go
No where to be
But you find others like you
And fit in easily

You might be in a crowd
Full of people
But feel even more lonely

_________________________________________

Hey, so the past few nights every time I try to sleep I can't and I end up thinking. This actually is something that's been on my mind for a long while.

I don't know how to explain this but I'm starting to resent going to lunch and having to sit at that table. It's not like if I get to know them more I'll like them, I've been around long enough for me to know I'll never be able to fit in with them. In all honesty I don't want to.

I've heard about them through texts and I don't care to know anymore. I shouldn't judge people I know but if you don't like someone you don't like them. I can't hit the "undo" button.

I guess I just don't want to be like them.

There are a lot of things i left unsaid but I hope you understand everything.

-Silent