Note: I'm using "you" as a way to talk to myself, this is not meant to point anyone out or make anyone feel worse. This is me trying to get myself back on my feet; it isn't me attacking anyone and everyone that reads this.
The thing about depression and anxiety is
Your family
Your friends
Anything and everyone
That you hold deeply
Can't save you
They can try
They can try and try
But they can't do anything
They will fail
Every time
You cannot be saved
They cannot save you
If you hadn't been so depressed and suicidal
They wouldn't have hope trying to save you
They wouldn't be trying so hard
They wouldn't be feeling that regret of not doing enough or doing too much
They wouldn't be running in circles
They can't save you
They never will
They need to realize that
All their efforts of saving you
Are futile
The only one who can save you
The only one that can stop you from ending it all
The only person who has that kind of power; the power to want to live the power to want to strive
Is you
You have to want it
You have to want to live
You have to put the gun down, untie that rope, hide the pill bottles, and look away from the knife
In the end the only person that can ever save you
Is you
You can argue all you want
You can think well I'm still here because of this or that but you know that is not the case
People can love you and try to save you all they want
They can impact your decision but you are the only thing standing in the way of being free from this hell
Things like
"I can't take it anymore"
"I did try"
"This is too much"
Are excuses
If you're going to kill yourself anyway
Then no
You didn't try
You aren't trying
Because if you did you would still be fighting
You can't want to live and then give up because your tired of trying
Living is never going to be easy and you will never be done trying
You cannot grow tired of this if you want to live and be happy
It does not work like that
There is no such thing as too much
The person that decides what's too much is you and if you still want to die and you're sick and tired of trying then you aren't trying hard enough
You cannot be saved
Nothing
No one will save you
Because the decision
Belongs to you and you alone
The only one to blame for your death will be you
The only one to be responsible for your healing is you
You don't have anyone to blame but yourself
You don't have anyone to thank but yourself
Everything is up to you
The choice is yours to make
You heart is in your hands
It's fragile
Don't be like them when they dropped it
Don't be so cold and callous
Don't become what you swore never to be
Don't let that demon win
You cannot be saved
You are the only one who controls the outcome
Your story is yours and yours alone
What will you do?
YOU ARE READING
The Words I couldn't Say
PoetryThis is a place for me to put all the things I wish I said but I just couldn't. These are a way for me to "say" these things without actually saying them to the person I want to. I probably won't ever go back or read any of these because it's like r...
