Think of me

nineteen: shake that booty

Billie

I tried to shut Megan out. 

First of all, she said that Grayson usually goes from blonde girls. So I obviously wasn't his type. It shouldn't really bug me, but why would he be interested in me if I wasn't like what he usually goes for? It brought doubts into my mind but I shut them out.

Then she said he usually goes for pretty girls. I knew I wasn't the most stunning girl in the world. Every girl at this party was probably better looking at me. But I didn't realise anyone could be mean enough to say it to my face. 

When she said that, I had to leave. I needed some alcohol in me. Maybe then I'd be brave enough to stand up for myself. I stopped Grayson from saying anything because I didn't want to draw attention to the situation. And I didn't want him to get annoyed about it. 

I took some tequila shots with Maddie and a few of the boys. The tequila was hitting me soon enough and my head started to go dizzy. I was beginning to really enjoy that feeling. It just made me feel happier, and more confident. I wouldn't have been at this party without being encouraged by the alcohol.

Soon enough the group was heading out to the garden. Before I went outside, I grabbed Grayson's hand and dragged him with us. Since that conversation with Megan he stayed quiet and stood in the corner, watching me. I smiled at him, trying to reassure him that Megan didn't matter.

Once we were outside, I saw that there were people everywhere. The music was loud, but the house was so big that there weren't any neighbors to worry about. Maddie and Ben headed over to the speaker to dance. I started walking towards them, pulling Grayson with me. But he was pulling back, and he was stronger than me so I knew that I was never going to win that one.

'What's up?' I asked, I stopped trying to pull him to the speaker and turned to face him.

'You okay?' He asked. He pulled me closer to him and reached up to tuck a bit of my hair behind my ear. I knew he was talking about what Megan had said, but honestly, the tequila had taken all my cares away.

'I'm fine. Now come and dance.' I started to pull him towards the speakers again, but his feet stayed planted in the ground. I gave him a puzzled look.

'I don't dance.' He said, his facial expression was serious and I didn't want to test him too much.

'What do you mean? Everyone dances!' I half sang, half shouted. The tequila was really affecting me now.

'Not me.' He said. 'You go, I'll stay here.' I stuck my bottom lip out in a pout and looked up at him.

'You're grumpy.' I couldn't help but giggle. 

Tequila was my new liquid courage. My usual shy persona had disappeared once again and my drunk, confident persona had arrived. Luckily Grayson laughed with me but didn't change his mind. I let go of his hand and danced over to Maddie and Ben. Maddie was trying her best not to make me feel like a third wheel but there were so many people around that it didn't matter.

I don't know what came over me but I started trying to dance sexy. I could feel Grayson watching me and when I glanced over my shoulder at him, I was right. He was leaning up against the fence of the garden with his hands in his pockets. I couldn't quite tell if his face had a smirk on it or not. I kept dancing, swinging my hips and running my hands through my hair.

'Damn girl.' Maddie shouted over the music. 'You are looking fine!' We both laughed and her comment boosted my confidence. 

Something came over me and I felt the need to make Grayson feel like he was missing out. I turned my back to him and started shaking my booty. Maddie was being a great best friend because she was hyping me up and Ben was cheering along. Then that sudden burst of confidence was over and I felt myself blushing hard. I forced myself to look over at Grayson to see his reaction. He was definitely smiling now, and I saw him throw his head back as he laughed. I hoped he was laughing with me and not at me.

Suddenly, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I spun round to see who it was and found a tall boy standing behind me. He was smiling down at me, but it was too dark to really see any of his features. I smiled back, before glancing over to the fence. Grayson was stood up now, not leaning against the fence anymore. He was like a meerkat on alert and his smile was gone. 

'Hey.' The boy said.

'Hi.' I replied. I kind of liked the idea of making Grayson jealous. If he got pissed off about this, it would show that he really liked me.

'I'm Dennis.' The boy said.

'I'm Billie.' I replied.

We had a short conversation before I was dancing again, but this time next to Dennis. I carried on my 'sexy' dancing, still looking over at Grayson every now and then. He was definitely not smiling now. 

Then Dennis started to dancing closer to me. I tried stepping away but ended up crashing into Ben. I didn't look at Grayson now, I didn't want something to happen like the concert. But when Dennis touched my hip I shoved his hand off of me.

'What's wrong?' He asked. I felt uncomfortable. I didn't understand how girls could go to clubs and parties and let boys that they'd never met start touching them up.

'I have to go.' I said. 

I squeezed out of the crowd and headed for the fence where Grayson had been standing, but now he was gone. I prayed that he hadn't got annoyed and walked off. I wasn't trying to piss him off. I got to the fence and began looking across the garden to try and see him. 

It was like he was my safe haven. It happened at the concert and it happened here. I run to Grayson for help.

I wave of relief washed over me when I saw him walking out from the kitchen with a glass of coke in his hand.

'Alright?' He said as he reached me.

'Yeah, I didn't know where you went.' I said shyly.

'I didn't want to watch that really.' He was staring deep into my eyes. I feel a connection with him that I'd never felt with anyone before. I sounded stupid because I'd only properly met him twice. But I knew he was a nice boy, and I felt like he cared about me.

'Oh, maybe I shouldn't have gone to dance then.' I couldn't help but feel a little hurt when he said he didn't want to watch me dancing. I was trying to impress him, but he sounded like he didn't enjoy it.

'No, I loved your dancing.' He said quickly, reassuring me. 'But it was that other guy I didn't want to see.' I made him jealous! I grinned at him.

'Well, he couldn't dance anyway.' I giggled, he laughed at my joke and I felt proud of my confidence. Even though it was mostly the tequila talking.

'Are you done with that sexy dancing then?' He said. He looked a little embarrassed after he said it. I figured that we both felt a little bit awkward talking about things like that, especially to each other.

'Yeah, I don't think I'm very good.' I admitted. 'Unless you wanna come and dance with me?' I tugged his hand lightly but he just laughed and shook his head.

'You're not getting me over there.' He said. 'Anyway, trust me, you are good.' I blushed. What was happening to me? I was never like this around anyone. He was changing me for good, making me feel more confident in myself. And I liked the new me.