Think of me

twenty four: the store cupboard

Grayson

My dad made me work from open until close on Saturday. I was exhausted from working after school everyday. The car wash was actually quite a physical job so I got worn out quite quickly. The other people who work at my dad's car wash were all 30 to 40 year old men who couldn't find any other jobs. They were all nice people and I got on with most of them pretty well. 

I think they were all scared of my dad. The job was always pretty relaxed until he was around. Sometimes he would come and sit in his office doing paper work, or he'd just watch us out the window to check we were in order. I tried to never do a thing out of line when he was there. I knew the consequences if I ever did anything wrong.

Today was looking like a day that my dad wasn't going to show. I turned up at 8.ooam in my scruffy clothes and started preparing the hoses and buckets of soap. The day started slowly, like it always did. But it hadn't rained recently, and that's usually when we get the most customers. So by 10.00am, it was pretty busy.

It was around midday when my dad showed up. I hadn't had my lunch break yet but I definitely wasn't going to take it until he was gone. His rusty old car pulled up and drove round the back of the building to the staff car park. He walked into the building without even glancing at me. I immediately put in even more effort than before. I didn't want to give him any reason to take me out the back today.

I had just finished hosing off one of the cars as another drove in. I could hear loud music playing from inside the car and when I looked up, I could see two girls sitting in the front seats. As one car drove off, the girls drove forward. 

I walked towards the car, and realised that it was Megan and her minion Amy. I took a deep breathe and lent down to her window. She rolled the window down and gave me a huge, fake smile.

'Hi Grayson.' She said in a all-too-familiar voice.

'Exterior clean is it?' I pretended I hadn't heard her and hoped to get straight on with the job. I was well aware of my dad watching me through his office window, even though I hadn't checked, I knew he was there. I didn't need this right now. If he saw me chatting with a customer, especially a teenage girl, he'd definitely take it out on me later.

'Yeah.' Megan said. She had now propped her elbow onto the car window frame and was fiddling with her hair. 'How's that girl from the party? How was she in bed?' She asked, purposely trying to piss me off.

'You don't know what you're talking about Megan.' I warned. I could already feel my anger burning up inside. 'Don't even start today.'

'What do you mean?' She said, still acting dumb. 'Everyone knows you're a player Grayson. Every girl you ever meet at a party has been fucked and chucked by you.'

'You might want to close your window, wouldn't want to get a bucket of water in there, would you?' I said through clenched teeth. She didn't understand what I felt for Billie. Billie was different. I had never dreamed of doing anything like what Megan was saying to her. Megan giggled and gave me an evil look before winding her window back up and turning to Amy.

I got the car cleaned as quickly as possible then waited for her to pay. As she handed me the money she made another snarky comment but I blocked it out, knowing that Megan had just blown my chances of getting away from this shift bruise-free.

The next thing I knew, Megan was gone and my dad was standing at the door of the building. He nodded to me to come over to him. At home he probably would have screamed at me, but he didn't want to raise any suspicion. I chucked the cloth that I was holding into the closest water bucket, causing soapy water to slosh over the sides and onto the floor.

As I entered the building, by dad shut the door behind us. I took a deep breath and turned to face him, knowing full well what to expect.

'Chatting up pretty girls on the job, are we?' He said. He began pacing the room before heading for the door leading to the supply room. I knew that room all too well. 'Come with me.'

I followed him sheepishly into the small room. There was mainly sponges, hoses and soap in there, and just enough room for two people to stand in it. My dad shut the door behind us.

'Do you want to explain yourself?' My dad said. I stared at the floor, thinking through what I was going to say. What could I say to save me from this situation?

'She's a girl from school. She was talking to me but I was just trying to get on with my job.' I said. I took in a shaky breath and held it in my lungs, waiting for my father's response. 

When my dad didn't say anything, I looked up at him to see what his facial expression showed. But as soon as my eyes met his, I felt a cold, hard hand across my face, followed by the sound of a sharp slap. I did everything in my power not to move after that. From my experience, I knew that my dad would lay off if he could see that I could take the pain. 

He slapped me again, and again. I could feel a stinging in my left cheek and I knew that a hand print was forming on may face. But before that pain could ware off, my dad had his knee connect to my rib cage. He pull my shoulders down and continued to ram his knee into my chest. I grunted with each hit but tried not to let any thing else escape my lips.

I tried to stay strong but by the time he had finished kneeing me in the chest, my body couldn't hold itself and I feel to my knees. My dad got bored pretty quickly, or he just didn't want anyone to find us. So he shoved me over and walked out, shutting the door behind him.

I was left on the floor of the storage room, crumpled and weak. I hated my dad. He was the only thing I was really scared of. I hated myself for not standing up to him. I could fight back if I really tried. But deep down, a part of me couldn't do that to my own flesh and blood. I didn't want become my father. That's the last thing I would ever let myself do.