Jungkook Oneshots and Sickfics

Walking Into the Unknown

Requested by @X22rebel

Warning: blood and injury

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It wasn't nervousness, Jungkook knew. He had performed big shows before and not ended up like this. Even when he had performed the MMA stages, he wasn't like this. 

He always woke up sore and exhausted. No matter how long he slept, or whether he took sleeping pills or not, it always happened. Sometimes he would also have bruises on his legs and truthfully, he was just very very confused. He just didn't know what was going on with himself. 

His performance skills were starting to suffer. Jungkook didn't have much energy to dance and sing after barely managing to get himself out of bed. He knew he shouldn't be doing it, but sometimes he didn't give his all for some shows. He sometimes danced lazily and lip synced to the backing track. It wasn't that he didn't care about putting on a good performance, it was because he couldn't just bring himself to become more energized. 

Jungkook was glad the others didn't really comment on it. They just went through one performance after another and didn't have much time to reflect. At one point or another, the members would definitely sit down and have a talk. Jungkook was dreading it. 

But one group had already started talking about his new performances and they had noticed how his attitude seemed to have changed. The people who looked for the slightest mistakes in their performances - otherwise known as haters who didn't have a life - had noticed that Jungkook wasn't trying his best. 

There were hashtags trending about him. The hate comments against him were increasing. He couldn't go online on Twitter and read comments like he usually did. ARMY was trying its best to defend him, he had seen some of them get into arguments with haters and it did warm his heart to an extent, but he knew he had to do better. 

It was difficult. He didn't want to have to deal with so much. He wished that people weren't waiting for him to screw up so they could freely make fun of him. He wished he could explain to people that what he was dealing with was confusing him. But people would say that he was making up excuses if he said anything. He could just tell the agency what was going on, but he didn't want to bother anyone. 

It was fine. Everything was going to fine. 

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As much as Namjoon loved being the leader, it sometimes got a bit too overwhelming. He was asked to sometimes stay later than the other to finalize concept ideas, schedules and shows. To top it all off, he wanted to have time to be in his studio and work on his own mixtape and songs, and to be perfectly honest, the amount of work Namjoon wanted to get done wasn't possible with how short a day was. 

He sighed heavily as he walked up on the stairs that lead to the front door. The keys jingling in his hands, he unlocked the door and stepped in. The living room was dark. The others had definitely gone to sleep already. Namjoon hadn't really had any supper, and he wished that someone had bothered to heat up some leftovers for him, but of course they had forgotten. Some responsible people they were. Hoseok might have left some leftovers in the refrigerator, but at this point he was too tired to go and eat. He just wanted to sleep. 

The producers had asked him to meet up with him. By the time he finished talking with them, he didn't have enough time to finish the song he had wanted to finish today. Namjoon then decided to stay later to finish it. His motivation had run out, however, and after a while of staring blankly at his computer screen, he gave up. He was in a bad mood as he took off his shoes. He couldn't even get the things that he wanted to get done, done. Now all he could think about was sleeping. It was already past two in the morning.