Revenge : Book 2

CHAPTER 8 : I Never Wanted

I was exhausted, I hadn't slept in days. I was too afraid to close my eyes. I just kept thinking of that conversation with Russ. I knew she believed in me but I didn't believe in myself. I didn't feel particularly evil, I still just felt like me, but I was also afraid that Cornell was right. What if I was dangerous and I hurt someone. 

    I didn't want to hurt anyone, I could never even imagine hurting someone. But just because my intentions weren't malicious didn't mean my actions wouldn't be. My blood was tainted, that meant something. I was tainted. I was an abomination. 

     "Marcus!" Davin yelled and I jerked my head up.

     "Yes?" I mumbled.

     "Are you okay?" He asked, furrowing his brows in concern. 

      "I'm fine." I said, as I pushed my food around on the plate. I wasn't feeling particularly hungry. 

     "Are you sure?" He asked, and I darted my eyes from the plate to meet his crystal blue eyes. He'd done nothing wrong, I knew that. In fact he'd done the very opposite, he was just checking on me. But in that moment I just felt rather annoyed with him. I was annoyed with the world. The lack of sleep was making me exceptionally grouchy, "You look very tired. Did you sleep at all last night?" 

      "I said I'm fine!" I snapped jumping to my feet. "I don't need you to worry about me, you're not my father," I yelled, my hands tingling, as I felt something bubble up inside me, something dark and cold. It brush against my skin, coiling around my magic like a ribbon before plunging spikes into it making it hard to shake it off. It engulfed me until my vision flashed red for a moment. 

      "Sorry mate. I was just..." He said as he looked disheartened. The anger, or whatever it was dissipated as quickly as it had appeared. I turned to Michael. He  looked at me in shock but didn't say a word. He hardly ever said anything. My gaze the shifted to Kai.  

       "Marcus, he was just concerned," she said and suddenly I felt guilty. Why had I just done that?

       "I'm sorry Davin. You're right, I'm tired." I apologized, "I think I'm going to go to my room." I said before I excused myself and headed straight for my room. 

............................

"Focus," Kai said, as she landed another punch and I stumbled back a little with a groan. 

    "I am," I grumble as I circled her. I lunged but she grabbed my arm, twisting before she used my own force against me as she slammed me into the ground. 

    "No you're not." She said, she had her knee pressed to my chest. She rose then extended her right arm to help me to my feet. "Marcus, what's going on with you?" 

     A scowl formed onto my face but I knew she was right, I wasn't focusing. But I just couldn't. My mind was all over the place. I had been feeling a little more paranoid than usual. I felt like I was being watched. Every time I left the mansion for my magic lesson, I could swear there was someone following me. It was crazy. My paranoia was always at it's peak whenever I was sleep deprived. It had been a week now since I had a good night's rest. 

     I was starting to really worry about the effects. Though my magic had been improving in the last three weeks it was suddenly on the fritz. It was so bad that last night I had accidentally started a small fire in my room. It was unintentional, and I had put it out almost immediately. Nothing really got burnt, only a couple of books I'd borrowed from the downstairs library had been a little... blackened.

     But I couldn't tell her anything, I couldn't tell them anything. I didn't even know where I'd begin. And odds were, they already knew. Just because the council had been keeping secrets from me didn't mean they kept it from them.