Chapter 18. Confusion.

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Just A Smile - Pilot (1974)
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Xander's POV.

I sat back down on my bed the moment Cliff walked out of the door. My head was in a spin with all the thoughts and questions that the kiss had generated.

It was only a kiss.

It wasn't a snog or a making out kiss...., was it?

It was just a kiss because he was happy, wasn't it?

It was just a touching of lips and nothing more than that. He didn't use his tongue or grind his lips against mine, did he?

It was just an innocent kiss.

His eyes were closed though, so it must have been something more than just an innocent kiss. You close your eyes for something special..., don't you?

What was he playing at? Fuck! I need to know what that meant because until I do I can't process it.

It was an hour until our evening meal but I needed to meditate. I couldn't wait until later and I had to do it now in the room, despite the risks involved. I knew most boys would be busy celebrating our win and if Cliff came back and saw me I knew he would be cool about it.

I drew my legs up and sat in the lotus position and began to meditate.

When Cliff eventually returned to the room he ruined my concentration. He looked very flushed and very happy still.

"I'm sorry Xander. I didn't mean to disturb you. It's not long until dinner and I've just come back to get changed." He went across to his side of the room and, with his back to me, immediately stripped down to his underpants and began dressing for dinner.

When the bell for dinner sounded moments later I began to get changed too. "Cliff? I need to ask you something...., something important."

"Can't it wait?" He replied without even looking at me. "We haven't really got time to talk about important things right now...., so later? Yeah?"

I sensed he was too embarrassed to even look at me let alone answer my questions as to why he kissed me. "Okay....! But we must talk, Cliff...., and soon."

I think it must have been my tone of voice because he immediately came over and placed his hands on my shoulders and looked right at me. "I know and we will..... It's just at the moment I'm in high demand and I can't talk until later."

He gently pinched my cheek and shook it. "Privately in our hidey hole..., later.... I promise... Okay?"

I nodded. I knew he was right as with dinner imminent we wouldn't have time for any serious chat but it still left me feeling very anxious.

When Cliff said he was in high demand he wasn't joking. He was mobbed on the way to the refectory and I was simply barged out of the way by boys clamouring to get close to him. Even during dinner the boys sitting at the tables close to us bombarded him with praise and questions.

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