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Meredith X Ellis II

Cold

Not like you

__

Hey, Sad? Huh. Don't lie. I know you are heartbroken. Don't cry too. I care about you. My mind says, you're asking me, if I AM fine or nah. Answer is, not gonna be negative like yah, I'm doing fine, with medical stuffs... they are boring lol. They are not you so that I can cut jokes, give tickles and they fired up like bbq! Hey hey, don't boil up. I feel sad not there around you to enjoy it with popcorn. Okay okay, fine.. shhh! I shut, I lose.

You win.

Okay. Can I be serious? I broke your gift. I can't say sorry cause this word's nothing. I saw you crying hard back of the locker room. The most painful thing I've ever witnessed, I broke your heart. You know one thing, I came back in my house and wiped my tears too. Huh, you weren't there for me to do it. I ain't being dramatic, I wasn't there for you too. Even though I saw you crying but didn't get the gutt to walk across or walk on. I stand straight, what more could I do, love? What more could I do?

Lots of expectations were in your heart, hiding from me when we got ourselves together decades ago. I was unable to participate in your path with you more. Even a little. I know 'I AM SORRY' isn't gonna change a lot. Maybe I need a tiny hand now. I know you need me too. Is there anyone in this world treating you like I did? Don't say yes when I know its lie. I'm not calming me down. I can't see my lover is hurting more, even when I can reduce some. I can't, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I can't say in this letter more. How can I? If you show some sympathy, I'd come to you. I need a bare hug. I need yah. I'm sorry. Please give a chance. I ain't gonna break any of yours. Break my head, but don't break my heart. Don't be me :( I just imagined how selfish I'd become! I was a monster. I'm sorry. I'm begging you. A chance at least. Don't love me, but let me...

______

Not gonna be his best years. Not even Captaincy could change anything. Leading ability isn't everyone's cup of tea. Last match win, never gonna rotate a value. Just one line sympathy is, Junior captain picks his team up in Five on standings table. Maybe it would be a lesson before next BBL season, but all happens together. All negative things. Never ever having handy way to fit himself again. No choices left to voice to shout out. Only screaming alone is worthy to keep, when he even had anyone's value?

Hobart Hurricanes on there last match, won by seven runs against Melbourne Star. First over at the time of Star chasing runs, was up to Meredith as usual. He ended up the over so well. Not that well. On the fourth no ball, Tom Rogers hitted it up over to mid-off where Ellis was standing, he walks past with the ball as if landed on the ground few meters before boundary. He was trying to catch the ball, but it falls behind him as he noticed it and jumped over, the ball hitted on the ground then bounced back, he falls over it, the ball directly hitted with his left rib. He got hurt badly. But for the sake of his responsibility, he didn't take himself off the ground. He was there fighting and captaining even he took two important wickets of Maxwell and Tom Rogers with bowled and became the Man of the match. Dream!