*Taylor's POV*
Today I'm going home. It's been 3 days since I was rushed to hospital, and they removed the fetus later on that same day. It was a simple procedure. I was only 7 weeks pregnant.
I haven't seen Ellie since the morning it happened. Adam had brought her in yesterday, but I didn't want her to see me like this, so he brought her home again.
My parents had flown in from Nashville to look after her, so that Adam could be with me.
I remember hearing her cries coming from the hospital corridors when Adam had told her that her Mommy didn't want to see her, but I didn't feel sad. I just felt numb.
What if the baby hadn't died? What if I was still pregnant? What if Ellie had a sibling.
What if?
What if?
What if?
******
"Hey babe, how are you feeling?", Adam says, as he walks into my hospital room to take me home. He looks tired, but he's had to deal with a lot too.
He comes over and plants a kiss on my forehead, and wraps me up in his arms. He always makes me feel safe. I breathe in his scent, and I see a glimmer of hope. Maybe things will get better.
I smile weakly at him, and he takes my bag. We sign the discharge papers, and soon we're in the car. Adam's driving his own car, instead of our driver, so we won't draw as much attention to ourselves. That's the last thing I need right now. Attention.
We drive around the back street behind our house, and get out of the car. Adam takes a key out of his pocket, and he unlocks our back gate. We walk up the pathway, and enter through the back door.
"Home sweet home", Adam says smiling, trying to lighten the atmosphere.
As soon as the door closes, I hear little footsteps running towards us.
It's Ellie. I smile weakly at her, reaching my arms out to pick her up. She ignores me, and runs straight past me, into her Daddy's arms.
"Oh! Hey little mermaid", Adam says, as he showers our daughter with kisses.
Why didn't she want to see me? Did she not remember who I was?
I burst into tears and run upstairs, bumping into my Mom when I reach the top floor. Her and Dad had visited me in hospital last night, but I hadn't said a word, and they just sat with me for a while. It helped, but I was still hurting.
When I was in hospital, it was like I was in a trance.
"Oh sweetie", she says, holding me in her arms like I was five years old again.
"She didn't want to see me", I cry into my Mom's shoulder. "My baby died, and my other baby doesn't want me anymore"
"Baby! That is not true! Ellie was just upset yesterday when you didn't want to see her. She thought that you didn't want her anymore", my Mom sighs.
My mom strokes my hair and leads me to my bedroom.
This is where my baby died.
The blood stained sheets have been changed. Everything looks normal, but it's not the same as before.
We sit on the edge of the bed, and I just cry. My mom holds me in her arms, and I don't let go of her.
After 10 minutes, Adam walks in with Ellie on his hip. He nods at my Mom, who stands up and kisses my forehead, before walking towards the door.
"You 3 need some family time. I'll be downstairs if you need me", she says, kissing Ellie's cheek before leaving.
Adam walks over and sits next to me, placing Ellie on his lap. I reach my arms out to pick her up, but she doesn't respond.
"Come on baby, don't be scared, It's just Mommy", Adam says, gently pushing Ellie off of his lap.
At first she hesitates, but then she jumps into my arms and starts bawling her little eyes out. She holds on to me tighter than she ever has before, and I rock her back and forth.
We both sit there, crying, while Adam just sits back, letting us have our Mommy-Daughter moment.
After a while, we both stop crying, and Ellie rests her head lazily on my shoulder, her thumb in her mouth.
I stroke her hair and breathe in her scent. She smells like oatmeal and strawberries. I missed her scent.
I finally work up the courage to speak.
"Ellie, can you look at Mommy?", I say, sitting her down next to me on the bed so she can see my face.
She hiccups and nods, finally making eye contact with me. I stroke her little cheek and rub her back reassuringly.
"You were a very brave girl when Mommy was bleeding", I say, trying not to cry. "Mommy had a little accident, and that's why I was sad. I love you more than anything, and I would never want to get rid of you. You're Mommy's baby, okay?", I sigh.
Ellie hiccups once again and I smile softly.
"What kinda accident Momma?", she asks, looking up at me with her beautiful, innocent green eyes.
I take in a deep breath, and Adam squeezes my hand, before speaking himself.
"Ellie bug, Mommy had a baby growing in her tummy, but the little baby died and went to heaven. That's why Mommy was bleeding", Adam says, looking at Ellie.
I try not to break down into hysterics in front of Ellie, so I just take a few deep breaths.
"Oh", Ellie says, before climbing back into my arms and kissing me.
"I sowwy your baby gone momma", she says, and the tears silently run down my cheeks.
"It's okay honey, the baby is in a good place now", I whisper into her hair.
Ellie snuggles into me, and I rock her back and forth, until she finally falls asleep. I'm so lucky to have such a sweet girl. She was the only thing keeping me sane.
If I didn't have her to be strong for, I wouldn't be able to cope.
The doctors said it will get easier.
I hope they were right.
Doesn't time heal almost everything?
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PLEASE COMMENT BELOW, I LOVE HEARING YOUR OPINIONS!
********
ALSO, THANK YOU FOR 1,000 READS! THAT IS SO CRAZY.
I STARTED THIS STORY RANDOMLY AT 3AM ON A SCHOOL NIGHT, JUST BEFORE CHRISTMAS BREAK. THAT WAS ONLY 2 WEEKS AGO, AND I NEVER THOUGHT ANYBODY WOULD EVEN WANT TO READ THIS STORY.
FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART;
THANK YOU,
THANK YOU,
THANK YOU!
MUCH LOVE,
SOPHIA XX
