*Adam's POV*
It was 3 weeks to Christmas and Taylor was now 5 months pregnant. She had been feeling unwell over the past week, and the morning sickness had returned. Her obstetrician said that this was common, but it was taking a lot out of Taylor. She had been taking a lot of naps during the day, and this was really affecting Ellie.
Normally, I would go to the studio on weekdays for a few hours, and Taylor would be the one to stay at home and look after Ellie, but because Taylor was pregnant, this was now my job.
Ellie wasn't used to this new routine, and I could tell that she was upset because Taylor wasn't playing with her as much.
She was bored and she missed hanging out with her Mom all the time.
The night before, Taylor and I had spoken a little about enrolling Ellie into a nearby pre-school, so that she could play with other kids, but a part of Taylor wasn't ready to let her little girl go, and I knew this.
It was 8am, and Taylor and I were still in bed. It was strange that Ellie hadn't barged in and woken us up yet, but she hadn't been herself lately.
Taylor's eyes flutter open, and she smiles at me.
"Good morning beautiful", I say, softly kissing her lips. She pulls away and dashes to the bathroom. I sigh and follow her in, holding her hair back and rubbing her back in a circular motion as she completes her new morning ritual of vomiting into the toilet bowl.
She starts to sniffle, and I look down at her.
"It's just so hard", she whispers.
"I know", I say quietly, bringing her back over to bed and gently laying her down.
"No", she says, standing back up and grabbing some towels for a shower.
"I'm not staying in bed all day, and we have an ultrasound later. I'm going to take a shower and hang out with Ellie for a little while", she says firmly.
I try to argue with her, saying that she needs her rest, but once Taylor has made her mind up about something, there's nothing you can do.
*Taylor's POV*
When I get out of the shower, I get dressed in some skinny jeans and a blouse, and I feel a lot better.
I walk downstairs to the kitchen and Adam is standing there cooking breakfast, with Ellie on his hip.
I creep up behind them and try to hug Ellie, but she flinches, and lays her head on Adam's shoulder.
Adam just looks at me and shrugs, raising his eyebrows.
"Ellie, do you want to say good morning to Mommy?", he says encouragingly, tapping her nose.
"Hi", she whispers, not even making eye contact with me.
"Hi baby", I say, frowning slightly.
I try to brush a stray strand of her hair behind her ear but she pulls away again.
What's the matter with her?
************
When breakfast was finished, we all sat around the table as a family. Ellie wouldn't sit on her own chair, and had insisted on sitting on Adam's lap. She had also refused to eat, so Adam had to feed her the pancakes like she was a baby. She hadn't said one thing to me, and we hadn't had cuddles in days. Something was very wrong.
"Ellie, Daddy and I were talking, and we thought that you might like to go to pre-school to make some new friends", I say, trying to get a reaction from her.
"You don't want me", she mumbles.
Ellie starts to cry and jumps off of Adam's lap. I look at Adam worriedly, as I hear her little feet running up the stairs.
Adam stands up to go and follow her, but I tell him that I'll go.
I climb the stairs quickly and open the door to her room. Ellie is lying on her bed, turned away from me. She is laying in the fetal position, and she's shaking violently.
At first I think she's having a seizure, but she's just crying.
I sit on the edge of her bed, and look at her frail little body.
I try to pick her up, but she squirms out of my arms.
I sigh.
"Ellie, what has gotten into you", I say, not meaning to shout.
She jumps when I shout, and curls into a smaller ball.
Great.
Now I feel like a bad Mom.
"You don't want to be my Mommy anymore, because you're getting a new baby. That's why you want me to go school, so I won't be here", she stutters, starting to cry uncontrollably.
"Ellie that is not true!", I say,shocked.
Ellie just disagrees with me and shakes her little head vigorously.
"T-then w-why d-don't y-you w-want to l-look after m-me anymore?", she stutters. "You always leave me with Daddy now, so you and the baby are always together", she whispers.
I can't help but laugh softly at her innocence.
"Ellie, the baby lives inside me, so I have to be with it. I haven't been able to take care of you recently because I'm a little sick and I have to stay in bed. Mommy loves you so so much, and you're my best girl", I say.
She just shakes her head, and she cries louder.
I lift her into my arms, and she finally doesn't fight it. I hold her close to my chest, and kiss her head.
She's still crying. It's like she can't stop.
I look down at her, and her face is turning white. Panic floods her eyes, and she starts crying more, even though she can't breathe.
She's gasping for air, but not inhaling anything, and she clings onto me tightly, desperate for me to do something.
"Please baby, I need you to breathe for Mommy", I scream, the tears rushing down my face.
This had never happened before. She was always able to get her breath back.
Her lips were blue as she gasped desperately for air, her body going slightly limp in my arms.
The tears were rolling down her cheeks, as she looked at me to do something.
I knew what was happening to her. This had happened to me many times before, but I had learned to control it. My little four year was now going through the same thing, and that broke my heart. I never wanted her to have to experience this.
"Adam, we need help", I scream, louder than I've ever screamed before.
My little girl was having a severe panic attack, and I didn't know what to do.
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