Chapter 21{Devil in distress}

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Orange and Pink shoot across the sky,
I can see it from where I lie,
The sun is setting, going to sleep,
The dark surrounds, like the ocean deep,

The stars come, twinkling lights,
Glittering diamonds, What a sight,
I lie in the grass and up I stare,
My body goes numb as I forget all my cares

I like to gaze up at the stars,
So I can forget my cares and all my scars,

I have no one to look after me,
The real me is someone no one can see,
So I'll wait until I find some sort of love,
And until then it's just me and the stars above.  

She was here. In his house. With him. And she was a total wretch. Blow was hard.

He kept his distance giving her space. He had in his mind to shut her up whenever she would talk but she didn't. She never talked. As if in her own world. He knew she loved him but now it was a big question mark for him.

He kept his routine the way it used to be before her. The only change was that he was ignoring her presence too much aware of the fact that now they both have to live together. He wanted to make her feel pathetic but she didn't give him any chance to do so. 

Days winged its way by and now that ignorance towards her mingled with his routine. He hated those puking voices all night and he by all means wanted to bawl out on her about it, but yeah he ignored it too. Things became invisible at that very moment, he refused to grant them importance and he was not even ashamed to admit it.

It isn't cruel to say that it is the honey which makes us cruel enough to ignore the death of a bee. He was fool enough to think that he would survive with these emotions. Yes, he was in denial and the worst denial of all is being in denial that yes we are in denial in the first place.

After the dinner, he went upstairs to sleep. Just when he was laying she stopped him. 

'Wait', and moved to the shopper and disclosed a light blue button down shirt and handed it to him.

'What's this?', in his as usual cruel tone. 

'I saw this shirt and I kinda liked it so I thought you would like it too and brought it for you .', She said with every ounce of endearing she had. 

'Why would you do that. I hate blue. I just hate it. Just like your eyes. Those blues, I hate it. No not hate actually I loath your blue orbs. And not just your eyes your whole self. And yes I forgot to mention I hate your family too. All of you.'

He so much wanted to say that but he just managed a small version of it which was enough to lighten up his insides and trigger her heart.

'And why did you think I would like it?'

He got what he wanted.

********

Mr. Dawar got a sudden cardiac arrest which was strong enough to shake him to the core. And that was the most ill-omened day of his life.

She left.

He came to know about this when he got home. He searched for her in his house first. Bedroom. Balcony. Study. Kitchen. Office. Every nook, but she was no where to be found.

That was when he found himself seated in front of Noor.

'I don't know. She wasn't there when I came out', she got tense knowing that Hoore wasn't home.

'You didn't even check?', he asked hurriedly

''No I thought she left with you.', she said getting more tensed.

'Why would you think that, you must have called her when you didn't see her out.', he was restless

'No I umm-- Uncle told me you were coming so I thought you came and took her with you', she was worried about her friend

How could she not. They were best of friends. She must have checked up on her. She was such a fool.

He was now checking in hospitals, police stations, care centers and whatnot. He didn't go home that evening and evening poured down to simmer the night but she was no where. And by now he was sifting  through the streets. Needless to say, she was not there.

He came home and a faint sound of Azaan knocked on his ears. Calling to Allah. Calling him to the path of peace, righteousness, truthfulness. Awaiting to shower bountiful blessings.

He ripped open his shirt, threw it god knows where and let out a sharp pitched cry so hard that it hurt his throat. And tears came before he could stop them, boiling hot then instantly freezing on his face, and what was the point in wiping them off? Or pretending? He let them fall. There was no one now from whom he would have to hide it.

Tears had poured from his eyes without any change in his facial expression. It's pure pain and pure surrender when the soul cries without any fight from the body and that's how his fences knew he was deeply affected. He was alone. Again

He felt cold and from his stinging vision he saw from his position out of the window. Snow fall. And the snow that fell onto the roof in winter... it fell softly... softly... and it covered the house. It covered Dawood and Hoore, covered their parallel world, and everything was finally, very, very quiet.

He promised his mother he wouldn't cry. He broke it. He cried harder than before. Breaking the silence once again. He couldn't comprehend what he was crying over.

For breaking the promise.

For being left alone in a lonely world

For feeling cold.

He couldn't decipher. Still his raw soul couldn't fathom the fact that he was crying for her. He was not ready to decode it.









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