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Jake gave her a prolonged kiss, keeping his hands in hers. Delilah could only guess that he could feel her nerves, especially since he kept asking her what was wrong. "Okay, you two lovebirds," Ronnie interrupted, disgusted by the sight of the two of them. "We gotta go."
Delilah pulled away with a giggle. "She's right, or we'll hit traffic."
He sighed, looking into her eyes to see if he could find whatever she was hiding. "Alright, be safe. Come back in one piece."
"Promise. Now I gotta go." She pulled away from him reluctantly, and smiled at him. He seemed hesitant to go back into the house, so he watched as the two girls left for Detroit.
Delilah sighed, "He knows something is up."
"Well, yeah. You keep acting like a weirdo." Ronnie rolled her eyes as she turned.
"What, how so?"
"Oh, I don't know. Maybe when you were telling them what you were doing, you just kept going on about shopping."
"Well excuse me."
"And also, because he flipping loves you so he can tell that you're in distress. So, you better give him some peace when this comes back negative."
"I will."
The car ride was only two hours, but it had felt like a shorter trip. Ronnie was a good jokester and kept her mind off the situation at hand. They had to wait another thirty minutes at the doctor's office.
"So, how are they going to do this?"
Delilah explained, "There will be a physical exam, blood tests, and probably a biopsy from my bone marrow. If it's the cancer that they think it is."
Ronnie looked like she was in pain, her face contorted and her mouth became small. "That sounds horrible."
Delilah laughed, "Yeah, the biopsy sucks."
"Delilah?" a nurse called. She stood and walked with the nurse. She was extremely nervous and all the nurses could tell. So they tried to calm her down. "You got a special man?"
Delilah modded, "Yeah, Jake. He's in a band."
"Oh, singer?"
She shook her head, "No, guitar."
"Very nice. Okay, change into this. The doctor will be in shortly."
Delilah knew the drill so she changed and sat on the cold, paper covered, bed. She waited, wringing her hands. When the doctor came in, she wasn't ready, but she had to do this.
The first time they found out that she had cancer, she was with her parents. But now, she was sitting here on her own. And it was scarier.
About an hour later, she walked out, exhausted. Ronnie was on her phone, her leg bouncing. When she looked up, she was on her feet, looking concerned. "Do I look that bad?"
Ronnie tried to smile, making Delilah sigh, "I won't get the results until next week. So all we can do is wait. So, please, just relax. Let's go shopping."
Ronnie nodded and they both left. "I hate the doctors now." She stated. Delilah agreed. "I don't want you to have cancer and I don't want to lose you. You're my best friend." She hugged her tightly. And Delilah knew that she wasn't alone. She had never been alone. Delilah hugged her back.
"You won't lose me. We're going to grow old together and annoy the heck out of each other. And be those funny old ladies that do nothing but argue,"
Ronnie laughed, "You'd complain that the cookies were too hard for your gums." They smiled at each other.
"I'm gonna be okay. I promise."
"I'm holding it to you."
They were back in Frankenmuth by late afternoon. Ronnie parked and then sat back. "I have plans with my boy."
"I'm getting out already." Delilah smiled and then was out of the car. Before she closed the door, she said. "Love, thank you for being with me."
"Okay, okay." She chuckled and then watched her leave. She sighed, running her hand down her face in exhaustion. The tests hurt her body and now she had to act like she didn't have a problem.
Why do you have to act? she thought. True, I could just tell him. But then he'd leave.
That was her fear. After she got cancer for the first time, every one slowly ebbed away. The people she thought were her friends never came by, but when they did they looked at her like she was disgusting. It affected her mentally and physically. And the words that her first boyfriend had said stuck with her. That he didn't want to waste his life away waiting for her. She couldn't blame him. Soon enough, everyone leaves and goes on with their lives.
Jake would be the same. Yes, he bought the house and was ready to start a life with her. But the start of their life could be a sad one. And if she did die, she'd leave him with a broken heart.
Her heart dropped to her stomach just thinking about Jake being heartbroken. She couldn't do that to him. She covered her mouth not wanting to cry out. She had done enough crying.
She didn't want to die. She wanted to work at the old book store. She wanted to talk to Arlo and watch him grow. She wanted to see if her mother ever found someone to love. She wanted to be with Jake and she wanted to see where they would go together. She wanted to get married. She wanted to have kids.
She wanted to live.
She started to shake and she felt the anxiety spiking in her. It felt like someone had dumped cold water on her, trying to drown her. She could barely breathe. She clutched her throat, bending on her knees, hoping that it would go away soon.
Her anxiety attack felt like it lasted forever, the waves coming in and out, but she knew it was only for a minute.
Her body felt like lead, and when she stood, she wanted to fall over. Slowly, she made it to the door. Silence only met her and she was glad no one was there. Each step sounded too loud to her ears. When she made it to Ronnie's room and to the bed that they set up for her, she fell on it. She closed her eyes, a tear escaping as she slowly fell asleep.
