Hallucinations (Version One)

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Hey plant, so this is a prompt which was sent to me from princy034 a while ago, sorry it's taken so long for me to actually start it. Another thing, sorry for not updating in general for ages. School has been kinda exhausting but yeah sorry. This is one version of it, I have another version but different :). This is also gonna be quite short, sorry, but I have a couple of ideas that will be longer. 

Sherlock's POV
It was about 3 weeks after John and Mary's wedding and I hadn't seen either of them since. They had moved in together so I was back to living alone, which was not a good thing. I was used to living with John, but now he had left.

Since he had left, I had started doing drugs again, despite both Mycroft and Lestrade trying to keep me from drugs. 

The pain hit me in waves. Sometimes I was okay, but other times I couldn't deal with it all. That evening was one of the times when I could not deal with the pain, which is how it happened.

I went through the doorway and collapsed against the wall. Tears began to run down my face. I missed John so much but he wasn't here. I had grown accustomed to just having him there when I needed his help, but now he wasn't and I didn't know how to cope without his help. 

After a while, I dried my eyes the best I could and stumbled to my feet. I made my way to my room and I found my heroin. Mycroft and Lestrade hadn't found this stash yet, thankfully. Somewhere in the back of my head, I could hear what John would say if he was here. 

Sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall, I injected the drugs into my arm. I put my head back against the wall and I closed my eyes. 

When I opened my eyes again, I saw John kneeling in front of me. Just the sight of him made me tear up once again. 

"John? What are you doing here?" 

He didn't reply, he just sat there, his bright blue eyes staring into mine. I reached up to touch him, but he moved away, shaking his head. 

"John? What's wrong? Why aren't you letting me touch you?"

"Nothing's wrong, Sherlock."

We sat there, on the floor of my bedroom, talking about anything and everything. I had missed having him in my life so much.

After a while, I began to feel tired. My eyelids became heavy, and I slowly fell asleep as John faded from my vision with a final smile.

Several hours later, I woke up with my neck aching. Sleeping while leaning against a wall was not in any way comfortable. 

I blinked away the blurriness of sleep and stood up, using the wall for support. I staggered out of my bedroom and went into the living room, looking for John. He had been here last night, had he not?

My face twisted into a frown as I thought back to the night before.

Depressed.

Drugs.

High.

Hallucination?

Then it dawned on me. Hallucination. 

He hadn't been here in the first place.

He was still with Mary.

It had been three weeks since I had seen him, and now it was starting to take its toll on me, to the point where I was having hallucinations of him. I hated how human I was becoming, but I couldn't help it.

 I wondered about going to see him or calling him to go on the next case with me, but I decided not to because if he wanted to see me, then he would. 

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