I'm Fine

Part 1: Chapter 14

For some reason, I was startled awake. Nothing actually freaked me out, but the sudden thought of missing school was enough to wake me up. I looked around the dark room and felt the space next to me. The room was empty. I stood up on shaky legs and wobbled to the bathroom. I plopped down on the toilet and winced as a slight stinging pain made it hard for me to piss.

I jumped when there was a knock at the door.

"Yea!" The bathroom door opened and Dashawn peeked his head in.

"What time is it?" I blurted before he could say anything.

"5:30 in the morning." I nodded my head before quickly wiping myself. I flushed the toilet and pulled down my shirt.

"I got you some food. Come downstairs when you done," he said before leaving. I washed my hands and splashed water onto my sunken face. My face looked pale and lifeless. My hair was dull, it wasn't as full as it used to be, and my skin was constantly dry no matter how often I moisturized. I sighed in defeat. I slowly made my way downstairs. I followed the smell of food all the way to the kitchen. I grabbed my aching stomach as it rumbled obnoxiously.

I saw a large bag of Waffle House sitting on the table and Dashawn rolling up a blunt next to it.

"Sit," he said.

I sat in the chair across from him. He started pulling out all of the food, placing everything in front of me. There was a waffle, eggs, bacon and sausage, hash browns, raisin toast, grits, and apple juice.

I sat back flustered. "D, I really appreciate it, but I'm not gonna eat all this."

"Eat as much as you can," he shrugged.

"No, like I physically won't be able to eat much. At least help me."

"Naw, just eat whatever you can and take the rest withchu. I ain't hungry and you need to eat."

He sat back in his chair and smoked as he watched me. I opened the waffle first and drizzled some syrup over a small portion of it. The food was still hot so I took a few bites. I ate some bacon as well, but my frustration started to kick in because I was feeling sick. It shouldn't be this hard for me to eat, but it was, and I hated it. This is one of the reasons why I don't eat, because I hate the way it makes me feel. And, the last thing I need is for my mom to notice if I ate too much. She has been quiet lately, and the last thing I wanted was to raise suspicion and have her down my throat again.

"I'm done," I said pushing the food away. "I can't," I almost gagged.

"Eat," he frowned.

"Dashawn," I whined.

"You know this ain't normal. You need to eat way more than this. This ain't shit, Asha. The fuck."

"I know, but you don't understand."

"No, you don't understand. Have you looked at yo self lately? I'm surprised you ain't in the hospital or dead or in some facility. You got a problem and I know it's more than just them drugs."

"I'm not using anymore," I whimpered.

"Don't sit in my fucking crib and lie to me Asha. Who been selling to you?" I shook my head no.

I jumped when he banged his fist on the table. He was heated and I could tell he was about to go off on me. Luckily, his phone rang. He answered it.

"What!" He yelled into the phone.

"Whatchu mean?" He smacked his teeth.

"Ight, I'll be there. Give me 15 minutes," he said before hanging up.