Once in a Lifetime

Six.

After a day of nursing the hangover from hell, Louis found himself climbing out of bed at 11am on the Monday morning, preparing for his first day back at university. He couldn't afford to miss out on any more lectures, especially with the amount of money he was having to pay for them in the first place. He had spent the previous day throwing up, showering, and crying. Liam and Niall had tried to get him to spend time with them and talk about what he was doing to himself, but Louis completely disregarded them. He hadn't said a single word to them since the day Zayn passed away, and that wasn't going to change any time soon. Once he had pulled himself out from under his covers, he grabbed some clothes and headed straight for the shower. The scalding water soaked his body, and it burned his skin as he scrubbed his guilt from his pores. He looked in the mirror, noticing how he was starting to look different. His cheeks had thinned slightly from the lack of food, and he felt like a walking zombie. He knew, if Zayn were there, he would rip into him. But he wasn't, so, it didn't matter.

"Ah, Louis, glad to see you're joining us today. How have you been keeping?" his professor asked when he stepped into the room. He was a few minutes late, so all eyes turned to look at him. He looked back down to the floor, suddenly feeling incredibly embarrassed. That was not normal for Louis. He nodded, shuffling towards the back of the room. He sat in his usual seat, pulling out his laptop and trying to focus. It was pointless though, and as the professor droned on about the human anatomy, Louis completely zoned out. It wasn't until he felt a pair of eyes on him that he noticed the room was beginning to empty.

"Um, sorry, can I just, uh, can I squeeze by?" he heard from the figure currently standing above him. Louis sighed, not even bothering to look up as he moved his legs to the side to let the student get through. "Thanks, um, are you alright? You weren't really, um, paying any attention to that?" the same voice said, and Louis shoved his laptop into his bag before acknowledging him. Louis stood up, still not looking at the person's face, just at his brown boots. He nodded quickly, brushing past him and towards the exit. "Okay, uh, well if you want to copy my notes, um, just let me know!" the voice called as Louis got to the door. He nodded again, pulling his bag further up his shoulder and walking through the bustling corridor back to his car. That night, Louis stayed in his room as Liam and Niall ate dinner together downstairs. Liam had tried to convince Louis to eat with them, just eat something, but he just shook his head, opting instead to have another shower and get into bed.

For the rest of the week, Louis attended his lectures and went to his football training. In every lecture, he tried to take notes but instead just stared blankly at his screen. At every training session, he just did what he was told, not communicating with any of his teammates. His coach would scream at him every time Louis refused to answer him, resulting in an extra lap of the pitch every time. Louis took the punishment though, enjoying the pain he was putting his body through. Zayn had been in pain so he should be too. That weekend, Louis hit the city centre once again. He let the copious amount of alcohol overtake his mind and ended up making out with a stranger in the alley behind the bar. Honestly, that was unheard of for Louis. He had never been the type of person to enjoy kissing people he didn't know in a dark and creepy alley. But that night, with his mind numbed to the pain of losing Zayn, Louis lost control of himself. When he woke up early Sunday afternoon, he felt like an idiot. He knew he had made a mistake, but, at the same time, he enjoyed feeling like a loser. He deserved it, after all.

When Monday morning came around again, Louis stumbled into his lecture hall, heading towards his usual seat. It was already pretty much full as Louis had arrived with about two minutes to spare. He found his seat, noticing the pile of papers that were sitting on the floor in front of him. He picked them up, looking for a name so he could give them back to whoever they belonged to. That was when he saw something weird. His own name. It had been written neatly onto the top of every sheet, and on further inspection Louis saw that it was the notes of the lectures from last week. Somebody had given him the notes that he had failed to take. He allowed his lips to curve upwards slightly, looking around the room at the sea of people sat in their seats. Louis knew quite a few people from his class, but he didn't recognise the writing. The notes had been typed up, so they were easy to read, but his name had been scrawled at the top. Nobody was looking at him though, and the professor then walked in with a loud greeting, so Louis quickly sat down and pulled out his computer. This time, he managed to make a few notes, but he struggled to concentrate long enough to make ones that mattered.

After another week of ignoring his friends and family, showering multiple times a day, eating next to nothing, making out with strangers whilst drunk and struggling to concentrate on anything but Zayn, Louis found himself holding another pile of papers with his name on. It was the second Monday that this had happened, and Louis still didn't know who had been giving them to him. By the time his lecture had finished, Louis just wanted to go back to bed. It was nearing the end of October, it was raining outside, and, honestly, it was matching Louis' mood perfectly. Liam had screamed at him that morning for being a bad friend, and Louis realised it was another thing to add to the list of things to feel guilty about. He didn't have it in him to fix the situation though, so he had left the house without a word. He sighed as he put his laptop back in his bag and zipped it up.

"Ladies and gents, if I could just have your attention for one more minute, please!" his professor called, causing Louis to look back at him. "As many of you may know, earlier this month Manchester University lost a member of our family. Zayn Malik was an art student, a promising one at that, and the university has decided to display his work in his memory as it nears the one-month anniversary of his sudden passing. Please keep an eye on your emails, as the details of this event will be sent to you within the next few days." Louis felt the warm tears trickle down his cheeks. How dare he talk about Zayn? He never even knew him. Nobody knew the real Zayn, and Louis hadn't been able to save him. He blinked away his tears, feeling them fall across his face.

"Uh, hi, um, are you alright? Here, um, here's a tissue," he heard before it was suddenly in front of his face. Louis took it, turning away from whoever was looking at him, feeling ashamed for crying in public. He had no right to cry. It was his fault Zayn was dead. He wiped his tears, standing up with his back to the person. "Listen, I'm going to get a drink from the café just down the road, would you, um, would you, maybe, like to come with me?" Louis shook his head, pulling his bag over his shoulder and beginning to walk away. "Actually, um, I'm not taking no for an answer." He felt a hand on his arm, and he looked up to a pair of emerald eyes looking down at him, soft brown curls framing his face and falling to his shoulders. Louis couldn't help but nod as the strange boy began to pull him gently towards the door, and before Louis knew it, he was sitting in a café, sipping a hot chocolate with the curly-haired boy across from him.