Once in a Lifetime

Eighteen.

Louis woke up the morning of his exam with a horrible feeling. His mind instantly went back to what happened last time he had an exam, and he quickly jumped out of bed and ran into Niall's room. He was still asleep, so Louis shook him violently until he groaned and opened his eyes.

"Jesus, Louis, what do ya want?" he moaned, running a hand over his tired and annoyed face.

"It's my exam and last time Zayn died, and I just want to make sure that when I come back all my friends are going to be alive," he admitted, feeling his cheeks heat up when Niall sighed.

"Oh, Lou, I promise I'll be here when you get back, okay? And I know you'll do great, you've been working so hard with Harry," he said, pulling Louis in for a hug. "Now, as much as I love you, I need to go back to sleep so close the door on your way out." Louis smiled to himself as he snuck back out the room, leaving Niall alone in the darkness. He quickly got dressed and found his grey beanie from his drawer before making his way downstairs. He had half an hour before Harry was due to pick him up.

"Good morning," Liam chirped, standing over the cooker and stirring whatever was in the saucepan. "I know you're probably freaking out today, so I wanted to wish you luck with your exam, and also tell you that we love you, we're proud of you, and you're amazing." Louis placed his arms around Liam's back, clinging on to him as his eyes began to water.

"Thank you, Li, this is perfect, thank you." They sat down together as Louis ate breakfast, Liam scrolling through his phone so that Louis didn't feel like the attention was all on him. Liam had been trying so hard with Louis recently, and he couldn't stop apologising for the things he had said a few weeks ago. Things were starting to feel a little more normal, and it was helping Louis deal with the thoughts in his head, knowing that he had three great friends to support him. After chatting to Liam for a while and eating his full English, his phone vibrated, letting him know that Harry was outside. "Honestly, Li, thank you for making today a little easier. Can you just promise me one thing?" Liam nodded, waiting for Louis to continue. "Promise me you'll still be here when I get back?"

"Without a doubt," Liam smiled sadly, knowing exactly what Louis was referring to.

"Oh my God, I'm so nervous," Louis announced, shifting the weight between his feet as he stood in line to the exam hall. Harry was stood next to him, his hand on the small of Louis' back to calm him down.

"You're going to do great, Lou, you've used the, um, the notes and you've studied and you're clever, you've got this," Harry chuckled, tucking his curls behind his ear. Louis smiled, shuffling closer to Harry to wrap his arms around him.

"Thank you for getting me here," he whispered, only loud enough for Harry to hear.

"Thank you for wanting to get here. Now, let's go in there and, um, smash it," Harry smiled, breaking away from their embrace and leading them into the hall. They sat in their designated places, Louis trying to remember how to breathe as Harry repeatedly tapped his pen against the side of the desk. They were both as nervous as each other. As the papers were handed out, and Louis started to read the first question, he started to hear Zayn's voice in his head. You've been working so hard for this, I know you can do it, I believe in you. You're Louis Tomlinson, you've got this. Good luck, I love you. That was all the motivation Louis needed to pick up his pen and start writing.

Two days later, and Louis was trying to cram as many things as he could into his suitcases. It was the 20th of December, meaning it was time to go home for Christmas. He'd had a couple phone calls with his mum over the last few weeks, but he hadn't actually seen her since Zayn's funeral. Nervous was an understatement. She knew everything that had happened, the boys had made sure of it, but Louis was still worried that it would change the way she was around him. It also meant his first Christmas without Zayn. Niall was flying to Ireland for the holidays, Liam was going back to Wolverhampton, and Harry was heading back to Cheshire. They'd even planned it so they could all leave on the same day. There was a gentle knock on his bedroom door, so he yelled for whoever it was to come in as he sat on his case to get it to zip up properly.