32. broken.

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 #1 ivory journal

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#1 ivory journal

how can you stop loving someone you never dated? you think it would be easy but then they invaded your mind like they invaded your heart. leaving you completely broken.

you'll think all the feelings you had for them would just up and leave, I use to be that person. I wouldn't let small relationships I know that won't last bother me.

so why him?  why couldn't it be the boy next door or that one guy you'll see at the mall and would think about for the longest time, knowing you will never see them again. My brother's best friend.

who would have thought my brother's best friend would be the one for me.

but, he isn't the one for me, is he?

I want to believe that someone is out there for me, but I can't picture myself loving someone else that not him.

I don't think he understands how I laid in bed from time to time wondering, why im not good enough?

sometimes I feel like, he's the right person at the wrong time. but then I wonder when will be the right time?

it could be years, months, a lifetime.

even so, it'll be hard to turn the page knowing that he isn't in the next chapter, and I know I'll move on. but that pain will stay forever.

breaking me, until im nothing but shattered pieces.

I put a little music for this small chapter, enjoy it bby

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I put a little music for this small chapter, enjoy it bby.

I wanted to let y'all know, there's somethings that need to be cleared up.

There won't be any smut till later... yeah don't hate me. You all should love me because I'm giving bonus chapters that are strictly smut.

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