Sacred Oaths

EPISODE 17: DANGER DASH.

SACRED_OATHS

Author: Samuel Frederick

Episode 17: DANGER DASH.

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“What is it?” I asked, almost panicking.

“Fifi, donʼt touch that envelope!” Mimi screamed, acting like she just had a heart attack.

“Whatʼs in it?” I asked again, but she kept staring at the envelope like she'd just touched poo.

“Mimi, what is inside?” I yelled, losing my patience.

“Don't touch it!” She said again.

I was getting fed up with Mimi's nauseating attitude. The next thing I knew, she went to her bed and grabbed a full bottle of olive oil to pour on the envelope. If I wasn't quick enough to stop her, she would've emptied the whole bottle on the envelope.

“What is wrong with you?!” I was forced to yell at her, wide-eyed. “Are you out of your damn mind?”

“Don't touch that envelope Fifi, I know what I'm saying!” She persisted. “Hear me out!”

At this point, the last thing I wanted was an argument with Mimi, so I simply ignored her uncivilized behavior as I bent low, picked up the envelope and opened it slowly and gently.

Within the envelope, four bundles of fresh Naira notes laid like haystacks. I instantly understood what prompted Mimi's bizarre reaction. In fact, I also flinched at the shocking sight of it.

“Fifi drop that thing. Itʼs blood money.” Mimi said with both hands on her head, acting so dramatic.

“What makes you think so?”

“I can feel it deep within my soul that this money is not pure. Drop it down!”

I looked at her and I couldn't help the laughter that erupted from me. Mimi always had this funny way of complicating issues with her religious belief.

“So what you are saying is that this money I am holding in my bare hands is blood money?” I asked, still laughing out my lungs—literally.

“You think itʼs funny?” She retorted out of annoyance.

“I think it is, because if it is truly blood money as you claim it is, why haven't I disappeared yet? Why haven't I died?” I asked, looking directly into her eyes as she was unable to provide an answer. “Oya na, tell me why I haven't turned to yam yet?”

No answer, still.

“You better wisen up!” I added. “These people want me to campaign for them and they are willing to do anything to make me succumb. I already said I am not interested but they won't desist, so itʼs better I just play along and enjoy the benefits for the time being.”

Despite my very clear explanation, Mimi still wasnʼt convinced. I could see it in her eyes.

“What do you plan to do with the money?” She asked.

“What do they use money to do before? Iʼll settle our rent for another year from it, and we'll take the rest.” I said. “We’ll share it equally.”

“Thanks, but no thanks. I'm not interested. What about the phone?” She asked.

“I don't know yet, maybe I'll sell it or give it out to someone who needs it. Or do you need it?” I asked, and she shook her head to show her disapproval.

“I don't want anything affiliated with that money,” she said, snapping her fingers around her head in the typical Nigerian fashion. “Count me out of it.”