CHAPTER 19

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WILL

My only interest in life was to keep the one I love happy. I wanted Petra all the happiness. The happiness I couldn't give her. The happiness from years of love and affection.

She fainted. Right in front of me. In front of my eyes. I was shocked. I couldn't move. I had to move. I moved. But not in the right senses. I saw Tim next to her. He was angry with her. He could hurt her. I rushed towards Petra. Pushed Tim always. In the heat of the moment, I thought he did that to her. Tim is many things but not someone that cruel. But Petra was lying on the floor. Unconscious. She just wouldn't wake up.

I took her to the hospital. The doctor asked if she took any medicines. When I looked inside her bag, I saw the different medicine and the reports. She had gone to the city to get herself checked. She went to the city knowing something was wrong with her. She wasn't simply pausing while walking, she couldn't see anything in front of her. Idiot. I'm an idiot who couldn't even notice that.

I waited for five minutes. She would wake up. I was crying. I called her parents. Instead of informing them properly, I made them panic. I'm sure they did. Tim and James came to the ER. I looked at them. I was crying. Horribly. Tim walked towards me. But I didn't have the patience. The patience to talk to him. After all that I heard from the doctor, I just wanted Petra to wake up. Wake up, Petra. Please.

"Go away!", I screamed at Tim. "Please! I beg you! I just can't now!"

Tim looked scared. I scared him. What I said sure made him feel guilty. I did it. Again. It wasn't his fault. But made it look like he was guilty. I am so awful. He left crying. James followed him.

Petra's parents came in. They looked shocked. How else could they look? The doctor informed them about cancer. They broke into tears. We all just cried until she woke up. Petra woke up.

I was never this happy in my life. Ever. We promised her. We promised we will be happy. Happy with her. And travel. Wherever she wanted. Her happiness was all that mattered now. We held our tears and smiled for her.

Later she told me the reason why she learnt sign language. She had already got cancer twice in her early ages. Why? Why did she have to suffer all this? What wrong did she ever do? What Karma crap is this?! She suppressed her happiness all this time. The dead or the expressionless face surfaced on her experience. When she was finally able to be happy cancer came again. Why?! Why should she deserve sadness? I wanted an answer. To the question all of us had. But none of us had the answer.

Before we went on the travelling journey I had to meet Tim. Clear things with him. Apologise to him. I went to the school. I saw him. Our eyes met. But he looked down and walked away. He was feeling guilty. I did it again. I followed him and finally got hold of him.

"Tim, please listen to me!", I said.

"I don't have anything to listen to! Leave!"

"Please!"

"Go to Petra. She needs you now more than ever. I'm sorry for ruining your life. Again."

"It's not your fault! I'm sorry!", I cried out. He would still not look at me.

"It was my fault. Even this time. I shouldn't have pushed you away. I shouldn't have avoided you. But I couldn't. Petra was in so much pain I didn't know what to do. I ended up hurting you. Sorry. Sorry for being a bad friend."

"I'm sorry too...", said Tim and looked at me. He was crying. "I'm sorry. I thought Petra told you about me. She knew it. So I was angry. In anger, I didn't even notice that she was struggling. I made a big thing out of something so natural. Sorry. Sorry, you had to go through this Will."

I hugged him. We both need this hug. I talked things out with Tim. I told him about my plans. He was happy for us. He thought I gave up on our friendship. I didn't think my mistake would hurt him so much.

He said he likes James. He finally said to me. It was the first time Tim ever told me about his love interest. I was happy for him. I told him that he has my support though I can't be with him for now. He knew it too. Instead of making things emotional again, we laughed it off. Tim finally got the closure he deserved.

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