If Only You Knew

CHAPTER SIX

Wednesday morning was a bright and sunny day. The weather was beautiful and energetic, just like my best friend Athena and her bubbliness. Her face was brighter than the weather itself and she spread her good vibes to the people around her. And I was one of the first to be affected by it as my mood immediately brightened up.

I have been feeling down ever since what happened with Kegan yesterday. Thinking about everything kept me up most of the night as I tossed and turned feeling sleepless. And at that moment, I felt drowsy and worn out from the lack of sleep.

Yesterday was a very long day, but seeing Athena restored my energy. She somehow noticed I was feeling down even when I was smiling at her, because she suddenly gave me a long hug when she finally came to me.

"Whatever is bothering you, it's going to be just fine. And if you need someone to talk to, remember that I'm always here. You can talk to me about anything." she patted my shoulder as she squeezed me a little.

"I know I can. And trust me, I have been wanting to tell you. But I just didn't know how to tell or when to tell you." I told her as I broke the hug and frowned. I didn't want to get her worried because of me. I wanted to tell her everything. I wanted her to be there to help and support me through this rough patch I was going with Kegan. But to me, getting the courage and forming words have always been the hardest thing. And it kept weighing me down with it.

"Okay, then how about after class? I'll go over to your place and we can hang out there and talk all night. I could spend the night at your house and we can have a sleepover." she brightened up again as she planned for the night.

I had never had a friend stay the night at my house. Well, to be more accurate, I never had any friends that were close enough to have a sleepover at my house. So, I became very excited at the mention of a sleepover. It was like I went back to being a little kid all over again.

"Sounds good. After class it is."

***

Wednesday's class was long and free. Prof. Bell kept going on and on with her lecture while we listened and took notes.

I noticed Kegan staring me like he wanted to say something sometimes. But I ended up giving him a blind eye, not wanting to ruin my good mood which Athena brought.

After the long class ended, I walked the parking lot with the overly excited Athena. She kept going on about all the stuff she needed to bring for the night as she counted them on her fingers. But I couldn't blame her excitement; I felt the same. Staying over the whole night, doing movie time and talking about everything made me exhilarated.

"See you in an hour." I called out to her as she waved at me and started moving her car out of campus parking lot.

I was excited about the night but also nervous about talking to Athena about Kegan. The way he didn't give any me any answers yesterday, disappointed me. Not in him, but disappointed in myself for expecting something. Disappointed in myself for thinking I stood a chance at breaking his walls. But they were way beyond my reach and whenever that scene popped into my head, my chest hurt.

I felt my heart palpitate hard as the thoughts saddened me. I felt light headed and it literally pained inside to the point I had to grab my chest with hand.

I walked to my car in silent thoughts when I noticed someone leaning on my car. I didn't recognize him until I got much closer. Sure enough, it was Kegan and his messy hair. The fact that he was waiting for me there alone made me shudder.

As I got closer to him, he looked at me while standing up. His eyes never left mine until I got to him. At that moment, dizziness took over and my legs gave in. Strong arms held me in place as I lost my balance. His touch, which was from a protective gesture unlike all the other times in the past, sent electric shocks into my body. As I met the eyes filled with worry, all I wanted to do was to lean into his arms and take shelter in his warmth.