If Only You Knew

CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR

Ouch!

I felt a shiver of pain run through me as I woke up. I slowly fluttered my eyes open and tried to adjust them to the surrounding. I was lying down in a dimly lit big room with a high ceiling. As I started getting my senses back, I felt someone holding my hand.

"Faye! You are finally awake! How are you feeling?" A familiar face with a worried smile popped into view.

"Where am I?"

"You are in the hospital. You fainted, remember?" The familiar voice replied. As I tried to adjust my vision, a hand reached my face and gently caressed my cheeks. "I was so worried. I'm so glad you were awake."

That's when I got my vision back and realized it was my mother who was next to me. She wore the same blue dress she was wearing at home, yet she looked entirely different.

She is smiling. She is smiling at me. When was the last time she smiled at me?

I looked at her in awe as she continued to caress my face. Then I remembered what happened before I fainted. I had said such mean things to her. I had this unexplainable moment of anger. And I exploded.

I closed my eyes in embarrassment and regret.

"I'm really sorry. I said some mean stuff at you. I don't know what was wrong with me at that time." I apologized as I opened my eyes and looked at her.

"No sweetie, no. I'm sorry. I'm the one who did wrong. I was such a bad mother. I am so sorry." She said with tears coming down her cheeks. I looked at her in shock. It's been ages since she last called me sweetie.

"Mama..." I could only stare at her in shock.

"I...I really didn't mean to hurt you. After your papa passed away, I was in too much sorrow. I tried to keep myself busy with work and it did help. But then, I come home, and I see you. My sweet daughter who looks exactly like him. And that was it! Everything comes back rushing into me. The longing, the sadness, the pain. And... and at some point, I just couldn't take it anymore. I felt like I wouldn't be able to live if I kept feeling that way any longer." She wiped a tear away before continuing. "It's not that I don't love you or care for you. I love you very much and you mean the whole world to me. It's just I..."

I didn't want to hear anymore. I immediately got up and wrapped my arms around her. Mother stayed shocked for a moment but returned the hug filled with love. It felt so nice to finally be in her arms. It was warm and it felt safe. It felt like home.

***

We spent the whole night talking and catching up. We had a lot to catch up since we hadn't really talked much in the past 10 years. We talked about my school days, how classes at college were going, about my friends and Kegan. I told her that Kegan and I had been dating for a while and how things were going between us. We even talked about Kegan's parents and how her college days were with them.

"Did you really feel like that when you met him?" My mother asked with a smile.

"Yeah. I know it's hard to believe but it really did feel like that. It was magical." I smiled as I recalled that magical moment. How time seemed to stop for us. How just looking into each other's eyes brough her so much comfort.

"Of course, I believe you. I felt the same way when I met your papa!" She laughed. "I thought he already told you about it when you were little."

"He did! When I was five, he told me how you two met and fell in love." I laughed with her. "At that time, I was too young to understand what he really meant. But meeting him, I finally experienced those feelings."

"I'm glad you are happy." She smiled before caressing my cheek with her thumb.

Just then, there was a soft knock and Dr. Serene came into the room with a nurse. She has been our family doctor for as long as I remembered. She was a very tall and slender lady with beautiful long black hair that fell on her back like a curtain. She smiled at me as soon as she saw me and greeted us.