If Only You Knew

CHAPTER TEN

I never had insomnia, but tossing and turning for two nights straight was a horrible experience for me. Though it was mostly due to my mind not knowing when to stop thinking about a certain someone, not getting the sleep made me cranky all night. After the long two night, I was finally able to get some good night's sleep. I ended up sleeping like a log until 12 pm in the afternoon.

That night, I dreamed about the time I went to the aquarium with my father. The memories we shared together. The fun we had together. And then all of a sudden, it all changed. Suddenly, I was there with Kegan instead. We were holding hands, and we were talking and laughing. Like a couple in love. Like a couple who has been together for a long time.

And then I woke up, from my heart beating strangely. And when I open my eyes, I couldn't seem to focus my sight. Something wasn't right and I knew it the moment I opened my eyes.

After a while of laying on the bed trying calm myself, I finally got up to go wash my face. I needed to freshen up fast and head out for my Friday's class. On the way to the bathroom, I had trouble walking since I couldn't fully adjust my eyes on where I was going. When I got to the bathroom, I splashed some cold water onto my face immediately. Maybe I was just still sleepy and not fully awake.

And that was it first happened. I looked at myself or more precisely, tried to look at myself in the mirror. But all I could make out from the reflection was a blurry image which I couldn't quite focus on no matter how much I tried to.

The next thing I knew was my butt hitting the marbled floor hard as sharp pain ran through me. As the pain started to fade away, I realized how faint and dizzy I felt. I couldn't get up or see anything around me as my surroundings clouded.

The pain in my chest grew harsher and harsher when my heartrate picked up as I started panicking. My breaths fastened and I felt as if I was hyperventilating. At that moment I felt so helpless as I just sat there hoping for everything to get back to normal.

As I sat there, millions of thoughts ran through my head. I didn't understand what was happening to me all of sudden. Was it happening because I got no sleep for 2 nights in a row? Or was it because I slept too much last night? Or did I eat something bad for dinner? All those thoughts did nothing but add fuel to the rapid heartrate as I sat there until I eventually got better.

***

When I got to the class that afternoon, I felt more tired and fatigued than the days I got no sleep at all. I was fully rested, yet felt like I spent a whole week awake. I felt the urge to go back to my bed and sleep even more. But I knew shouldn't sleep so much considering what happened a while ago in the bathroom.

I had somehow come to the conclusion that what happened earlier was due to the stress and lack of sleep during the past couple of days and then suddenly getting a lot of sleep at once. After spending almost 10 minutes on the bathroom floor hyperventilating with an abnormal chest pain, I made a mental note to myself to avoid anything that could lead to that type of situation again.

As I waited for Athena in the classroom, I laid my head down the table as I stared at the classroom entrance. A while later, Kegan came in, wearing blue jeans and a V-neck white t-shirt that hugged his muscles perfectly to show how delicious they were. And his hair was messy and perfect as always that I wanted to run my hands through them and make it even messier. I raised my head from the table and shook it immediately, trying to get all the dirty thoughts out of my head.

As he walked toward his seat that was right behind me, a smile formed on my face as I got reminded of the time we spend together the other day. He lifted his hand to wave a hi to me which made me smile even more.

When he took a seat behind me, I turned around to face him. His face looked expressionless as always but the cold look he normally had on wasn't there as he started into my eyes. Relief ran through me when he replied to my afternoon greetings.