Steve's POV:
After last night I noticed Mara was on edge and less quiet than before and was more talkative than ever. Like a song left of repeat speeding up every time it restarted. I didn't bring up last night since it seemed to be a sensitive topic, especially sense last night she was crying, and to think about before last night I'd never seen Mara cry. Only get angry or a attitude or 80% of the time have her usual smart mouth. But today she was Giggly, not that it's a bad thing but it made me feel warm inside seeing her happy. Running around with Her friends, making jokes, laughing. It made me happy seeing her be a kid for once. From what I seen before, the things she's been through are unforgettable and hard to talk about. I can't even imagine what she saw when she was with hydra or what happened to her. When I read her file after she filled it out I felt guilty somehow. She accidentally killed her own parents and no one comforted her or went to search for her. No one was really there for her until she met her friends.
——————————————————————————— Mara's POV:
The whole day I was running around with Lila, Jamie, and Max pulling small pranks or asking Tony and Bruce stupid or mind breaking questions and occasionally saying things that where true and still mind breaking.
Lila: Wait Bruce, if we can't see air and we breathe it, does that mean fish can't see water cause they also breath it.
Bruce: uhm I don't know....
Max: if you think about it, there is now end of the earth, like if you were to walk all the way around the earth you'd find yourself either in another country or continent or in a large body of water and it would keep going until you died.
Tony: Oh My God!. Do you kids have an off switch.
Jamie: humans cut down bird houses to make more bird houses.
Bruce: make it stop.
Me: why is a delivery on a boat called cargo and a delivery in a car is called a shipment .
Tony: can I just finish working in peace.
Max: why is bacon called bacon if you cook it and why are cookies called cookies if you bake it.
Bruce: I don't want children anymore.
Lila: shouldn't 1+1=10 cause if you technically think about it zero has no value and it wouldn't matter if the zero was there or not.
Tony: ughhhhh!
——————————————————————————— and the time I hit Natasha for free no consequences
Me: Hey Nat
Natasha: yeah
Me: wanna see a magic trick?
Natasha: sure
Me: *walks behind her* okay I have a imaginary string and it's going through your ears so grab this end.
Natasha: *grabs the left side of imaginary string*
Me: okay now pull it
Natasha: *pulls imaginary string*
*SLAP!*
*All the girls run*
———————————————————————————
That was fun. Oh and I got 50 dollars from Sam
Me: Sam I bet you 50 dollars there is Mars and I can prove it
Sam: this is a dumb bet but okay
Me: pulls out a picture of Bruno Mars, Mars chocolate Bar and a game of life token
Sam: don't you dare say it
Me: show me the paper
——————————————————————————— Later the day went how it usually did. Everything was good until night fell, I patiently waited until it was at least 3:00 AM and walked down to Steves office room and sat in a office chair and sat next to him as he broke the silence "you ready to talk about it" I fiddled with my jacket Steve's and said "yeah" Steve folded up his work folder and turned towards me to listen, I lowered my head down and let the words come out.
"The nightmare... last night... it was different from my other nightmares. It wasn't a flashback" Steve then said "a flashback?" He didn't understand but then he let me continue since he could tell I didn't want to talk about the flashbacks "this nightmare was worse.... It felt too real and I couldn't wake myself up like I usually do..... and there.... There was so much blood... more blood than before and I felt guilty.... All the blood was all over the floor around me and it started to flood the area and I started drowning in it and I was calling for.... People... for Max, Jamie, Lila...... my parents..... even... even you I guess but I didn't wake up until you woke me up...." I felt embarrassed talking about it I looked up and and saw Steve's expression. Remorse. Steve looked at me and said "I can't relate to you in anyway.... I know that, I didn't go through what you did but... you can't keep this guilt on your shoulders... I don't mean this negatively but.... I can see it, the guilt... and I feel guilty as well.... In 1945 me and Bucky went on a mission and.... He fell off of the train and I thought he was gone.... And I felt guilty since I didn't save him or go look for him" Steve's remorseful look faded into a small guilty look when he looked down but then he looked up and said "Mara I don't know you personally but I am slowly starting to get to know you and I want you to be comfortable with talking to me about stuff like this" I looked up and wiped my eyes feeling the tears starting to well and I said "I want to.... But at the same time I feel like I'm just dumping my problems on you when I'm pretty sure you have better things to do and I don't want you to be playing therapist when I'm pretty sure people have it worst-" he cut me off and said "Mara... what you went through is horrible... no one should ever go through what you did, so please talk to me" I felt the tears start to fall and I said "I feel guilty because of a lot of things. I killed my parents, killed innocent people, almost killed Jamie. I made my friends live like Fugitives for year just because I was afraid of getting comfortable..... I'm pretty sure if my mom was still alive she wouldn't want to see me" Steve pressed a hand to me knee and said "you didn't kill your parents Mara, it was a accident things happen and sometimes we can reverse them even if we truly wanted to..... not only that but the thing you did was for your own protection and your friends.... What happened to Jamie was an accident too and she forgives you... she told me that she's happy your not afraid of using your powers and your friends like seeing you smile. I like seeing you smile..... and I think it might be time to forgive yourself Mara.... No matter how long it takes... just remember the things that happened to you weren't your fault." I started balling my eyes out and I tried to stop crying but started crying even more when Steve hugged me. The only people who had ever hugged me where my friends and my parents. No one else
"I have to forgive myself.... No matter how long it takes... and I have to remember who it here for me"
YOU ARE READING
"Little girl got the gun now"
FanfictionAs four 13 year olds hide in a alleyway from S.H.I.E.L.D agents, after one of their hideouts are discovered. they run into problems on there way from hideouts all over New York, and face their own challenges. But won't let that stop them from being...
