Forbidden Love

41

Jaxon

The car ride to Paxton's is filled with his country music blasting in our ears. Olivia claimed she was trying to take a nap because she's car sick, but I notice her lips moving along to the lyrics. Luna's on her phone, but I'm not close enough to see what she's doing on it, and I don't think she'd appreciate me leaning over and gaping at her phone.

I wanted to just go straight to my place with Luna, but Paxton offered to make us some food at his house, and we couldn't exactly say no when he was all excited about it. Olivia jumps out of the car the second we get there, grabs her skateboard from the porch, and starts riding away. She doesn't even say bye.

Paxton only rubs his neck. "I'm starting to think she's on something."

Luna begins to say something, but in the end, she just turns to Paxton's door and follows him inside. I walk slowly behind her checking her reaction to his house. It's weird bringing Luna to this house. I feel more at home here than at my own house. It's like she's walking into my childhood or something.

This is where I played Legos as a kid, where Paxton and I spent hours beating each other on the PlayStation, where my family and I spent most Christmas' and Thanksgivings. This is where I grew up.

The second you walk in, you just smell pure Carter. I don't know what it is, but it's just their scent. A bit of pumpkin, apples, and cinnamon mixed together in the best way possible. Paxton walks us over to the kitchen, but I turn to use the bathroom. Even though I'm still getting used to the idea of being back. I've realized that I'm not kicking myself to go back to Canada anymore.

A certain blue-eyed girl probably has something to do with that.

I use the bathroom as quickly as I can and start heading to eat something. I'm starving. But my face falls the second I walk out when I see the picture hanging up on Paxton's wall. My throat dries up and I have to lean on the wall to keep my balance. He must've put it up sometime when I was in Canada. I really don't remember it being here. If I did, I wouldn't feel like the air has been knocked out of me.

Three years ago, when I made it on the high school football team we went out for a celebratory dinner at Ty's. Paxton's holding the camera with a dumb face, Isaac is making an equally stupid look, even Mason is there with that half smile he does. We're standing in front of a car.

Connor's car.

Connor stands with his arms wrapped around me. His usual grin is plastered on his face while I'm scowling at his touch. My stomach twists at the smile on Connor's face. I miss it.

I haven't seen a picture of him in months. My parents took down everything when he died, it's like he didn't exist anymore. Now, seeing him again, it makes me feel all kinds of things.

I don't know what else to say but that I miss him. I miss him. I miss him.

"Hey," Luna's voice startles me. "Whatcha looking at?"

She walks up to me, and I look anywhere but at her. I think she notices the picture, but my eyes are trained on anything but.

"You're happy in that picture," She states.

I scoff. "I look miserable," If only I knew then what I know now. I would have smiled more. Hugged Connor back. Told him I loved him. Maybe even stopped the accident.

That last thought makes my guilt multiply.

"No, you're just hiding your happiness," She says simply. "You can see it in your eyes."

"My eyes?" I lift my head and look up at my eyes. I don't see the difference.

"You look so much like Connor. He looks happy too." She cocks her head as she studies the picture. I've never heard her say his name before. It's oddly nice to hear it come out of her lips. "Was he?"

"He was proud of me for making it on the football team," I tell her with a small rasp to my tone.

She notices and her eyes are on mine in less than a second. She grips my arm. "Do you want to tell me more about it?"

No. I really don't want to talk about my dead brother and the mistakes I made when he was alive. I take a breath, put my hand on hers, and grin the cockiest I can manage. Distractions, right? I lean down and kiss her cheek, softly. It's hard because all I want to do now is kiss her lips. Her breath catches and her face turns bright red.

I don't have a word to describe her still.

"I'm okay, thanks for asking." I wink and let my hand drop from hers.

She stands very still, her eyes wide.

I pat her head. "Let's go eat."

It takes her a minute, but Luna eventually nods and follows me back to the kitchen. I really need to thank her for showing me this distraction trick. It works like a charm.

Paxton laughs the second we walk in. He's sitting at the table with a couple of sandwiches. "Lulu, you look flustered. What's wrong?"

"N-nothing." She stammers over the word.

Paxton only shrugs and pats the seat next to him. "Have a seat."

She sits next to him, and I sit across from her. Paxton starts talking about, well, I don't really know. I'm too busy watching Luna eat her sandwich. She blushes under my gaze. Funny how quick she goes from having an attitude to being shy in a matter of seconds. All it takes is one little kiss.

"This girl DM'd me last night and sent me pics of her ferret." Paxton tells us when I zone in. "I didn't even know ferrets were allowed to be pets. I want a ferret now."

"You can get a ferret when you move out." A thick country accent says.

"Hi, Cheyenne." I say without looking back.

"Is that my Jax?" I hear her rush over and a second later she leans over and engulfs me in a hug. A big, tight aunt hug.

"What are you doing here? You're supposed to be on a flight. At work. Remember? It's the thing that pays the bills." Paxton grins but she ignores him.

"Oh! I knew you'd come back!" She kisses the top of my head over and over again. And then Luna chokes on her sandwich. She starts coughing and hitting her chest. Paxton starts hitting her back and I almost get up from my seat, but she gets ahold of herself.

Cheyenne sighs. "Hey, don't die, sugar. That sounds like an awful lot of paperwork."

Luna chugs a cup of Paxton's water. "Sorry," She mutters.

"Well then, Luna meet my aunt. Aunt Cheyenne, meet the famous Luna Stone." Paxton introduces them.

"Oh," Luna smiles. "Your aunt." Her face fills with understanding. "It's nice to meet you."

Cheyenne takes a seat next to me. "I've heard so much about you. Paxton tells me that you and Jaxon are together."

Luna and I both shift awkwardly. "Has he now?" I roll my eyes. "Paxton's been talking a lot with that big mouth of his." I narrow my eyes, but he just shrugs.

"We aren't together." Luna says quickly. "Well, we're together right now, but that's because we came here in the same car. We aren't like together together though. He hasn't asked me out." Her eyes go wide. "Not that I'd say yes if he did. I just..." She trails off and bites her lip. I raise my eyebrows and Paxton blows out a low whistle.

"It's okay, Luna." He nudges her. "Stop while you're ahead."

She pushes him off and picks at her sandwich.

"Wow," Cheyenne has that same smile as Paxton. "Coulda fooled me. I thought I saw y'all kiss in the hall."

Paxton's jaw drops open while Luna and I exchange an awkward glance.

"You what?" Paxton asks. "You kissed? In my house? Your first kiss was in my house?"

"No, it wasn't." Luna shoots back.

"Luna." I blink at her.

"Wait! You've kissed more than once?" Paxton cackles and claps his hands. "This is getting so good."

"Sorry." Luna shoots me an apologetic look.

Cheyenne and Paxton both sit back looking as smug as ever. The family resemblance is really strong.