Forbidden Love

53

Luna

How did everything go downhill so fast? I woke up yesterday and life was almost perfect. Now it's like my life is falling apart.

I wake up with tear-stained eyes. They feel heavy because I didn't sleep at all. I kept rolling over trying to feel for Jaxon. He wasn't there. I cursed myself every time he came to mind. I wish I could forget him, but then again, I want to remember him and everything he came with. I need to remember that I can't make this mistake again.

My stomach aches. I don't know if it's because of something I ate or stress. Or maybe it's because I spent the night crying.

All I wanted was a distraction.

His cruel words play in my mind on repeat. It's been doing that since I got home yesterday. I guess it's my fault for teaching him about distractions. But still...I let myself open up to him and I never open up to people. I let him take me out of my fantasy world. I gave him the opportunity to make me feel things.

I opened my gifts last night even though I didn't want to. Celebrating was the last thing I wanted to do. But I sucked it up and did it anyway. Books, shoes, and a sweater from my siblings. Sebastian gave me pens and a journal. Very practical of him and I didn't expect anything less. Olivia and Paxton gave me a football. The football reminded me of when I played with Jaxon in his backyard and that just made my heart hurt. They attached a note too, which said:

We remembered that you said you've never played before. Maybe now you will. Happy birthday, Luna.

XOXO Olivia & Paxton

P.S. The wrapping is horrible because Pax insisted on doing it. – Olivia

P.P.S. The wrapping is perfectly fine. – Your favorite Carter

It took me the better part of an hour to realize I'm not going to open Jaxon's gift. I stuffed it in my closet and slammed the door shut. I didn't want to see it then and I don't want to see it now.

It takes me longer than usual to get ready since no one woke me up. The house is silent when I walk downstairs, I only hear the sound of spoons against bowls. Joseph is eating at the bar and Corey at the table. Joseph glances at me, but Corey doesn't bother looking up.

"Morning," I say as I grab a bowl. No response. I make a bowl of cereal and then sit across from Corey. "Are you working today?"

Corey looks up at me, blinks, and then walks away. He makes sure to toss his bowl in the sink with an unnecessarily loud thunk.

"I'll see you in the car then?" I call out after him and watch as he grabs his bag over his shoulder and storms out of the house.

I slump back in my seat. Today's gonna be an interesting day.

JJ comes down with her bag a couple minutes later. I'm still a little mad at the fact that she randomly blurted out that Jaxon stayed the night. I haven't talked to her since. She made things so much worse with Corey.

When it's finally time to leave, we all get in the car. I take the backseat. Joseph sits beside me, his eyes trained on the window. JJ takes the front, and she looks out the window too. I hate the silence. I hate how we're all distant. We never argue, at least not this badly and for this long.

"Are we seriously not going to talk?" I ask when the silence gets unbearable. No one responds. "Stupid," I mutter.

"Yeah, you are." JJ mutters back. I shoot her a sarcastic smile to which she returns.

Because I'm trying to distract myself from the silence, I unzip my bookbag and start to go through it. I pause when I see a hoodie. Jaxon's hoodie. I wore it the other day and stuffed it in my bag when I got too hot. How did I forget that?

My stomach turns and tears prick my eyes. I zip my feelings away as quickly as I zip up my bag. I'll deal with it later.

The second Corey parks at the academy, we all get out like the car is on fire and leave in separate ways. Who knew a school could have so many entrances?

I decide to take the door on the right side of the school. It's closer to my locker and first period anyway. I quickly realize I should've taken another way when a group of people stand by the door. One glance is enough to see him.

Jaxon stands there with his shades on. Some of the football team beside him. Isaac is tapping everyone's heads and talking with his hands. I have no idea what he could be talking about. Paxton's laughing at whatever is going on. It isn't until a taller guy—who I can't make out at the moment—moves that I see Paxton more clearly. His cheek is really bruised. I wonder who did that. My eyes find Jaxon again. He takes his shades off for a moment and I suck in a sharp breath. His eye is swollen shut and his jaw bruised like Paxton's cheek.

I immediately know who it was. Corey. But why hit Paxton of all people? What did Paxton do? Nothing, that's what. It was all Jaxon. It always is.

I stare a little longer than I would have liked because before I know it, Jaxon's one good eye meets mine. For a second—only a split second—I want to run to him and ask if he's okay. But the second passes as quickly as it came.

I think I was wrong earlier when I said I want to remember him and everything he did because right now, I would kill to forget. I turn and finish making my way to the school doors. Mason steps out before I can enter. He stares at me for a beat.

"Luna, is it?"

I try to contain my mouth from dropping open when I see Mason looking down to me. What does Mason have to say? We've gone to the same school since kindergarten like every other person at Rose Thorn Academy, but I've never spoken to him in our entire lives aside from that one very rare occasion when I went to their football practice the first time—but that was because we were in the same group, not one on one. And I don't even think we made eye contact. That's JJ's thing not mine. For a minute I think we're going to talk about her, although that doesn't make any sense because he doesn't seem to be her biggest fan.

"Um, yeah."

"My cousin's looking for you. Something about a project."

"Oh," It takes me a second to remember who his cousin is. Maddi. Right. Our chemistry project. "Okay, thanks."

He starts to walk past me, but I turn last minute.

"Can you do me a favor?" Only because I've turned around do I notice Jaxon's gaze burn the side of my face. His attention used to make me feel good. I craved it. Now all I want to do is run away from it.

"I'm not in the business of handing those out."

I start to take out the hoodie from my bag anyway. "Give that back to Jaxon for me." I'm afraid if I keep it, I'll wear it. Or smell it in a moment of weakness.

Mason looks between the hoodie and me before taking it and walking away. No words spoken.

I force myself not to look at Jaxon as I turn and head inside the school. My back feels the weight of the hoodie gone. One more thing I don't have to worry about getting rid of. Jaxon's one step closer to leaving my life. And my heart.