I'll Go To Hell And Back For You | Rebecca X Natsuki Mamoru

Chapter Ten - No Goal In Sight

Mamoru P.O.V

Nothing much happened today...Unlike most days, I hadn't seen any form of major violance occur in this city today, which might as well be somekind of world record.

Rebecca had complained about the lack of action, but personally, I don't mind having a peaceful day once in a while.

......

Though...I don't care about having a peaceful day now than I had before, in my own world. Well, I guess I never desired to have peace myself, it was more for the sake of my father. I wanted him to never face any danger, so I had always atleast tried to destroy anything that could cause him harm.

But now? What am I even doing? I have to give my respect to Rebecca and the others, they have certainly kept me preoccupied from thinking about this, but what am I going to do now?

My birth, my life, even if it has been short, had always revolved around protecting my father.

In the end, no matter what action I took. Who I killed, who I had to get rid off, who I had to sacrifice, it all revolved around protecting him.

But...I'm in a whole new world now, but most importantly, without my father.

.......

It is a...Strange feeling. One might expect- No. I myself expected to feel...Sad about it, but I kinda just feel, empty? No, that's not the right term for it. Melancholic? Maybe, perhaps?

Maybe it's because it doesn't feel real yet? Maybe there is a fantasy in the back of my mind that's whispering in my ear that it's all going to be alright and I'll get send back and that I could treat this as a nice little vacation.

But I knew better, life didn't work like that. I wouldn't be sent back. Most likely...I'm stuck here, for the rest of my days...

......

Heh, now that I think about it, I remember a certain memory between me and my father....

He had asked me what I would do if he ever somehow disappeared. Died, actually. Even if he had a ability to literally evade death, it was an interesting thought.

Back then, I didn't take that question seriously and just joked about killing myself, but....Was that really a joke?

Thinking about this calmly, I have no goal in life right now. Sure, I could try my best to find a way back somehow, but I knew that I would not be able to transport myself back into that world. My mother could, but I can't.

Any being with half a brain needs a goal to life, those who say that they "don't have a goal and just want to life a peaceful life" are already lying since they have the end goal of living a peaceful life.

Me, on the other hand? I have imagined myself in many situations, living a life full of missions and adventure as a edgerunner, becoming a normal citizen and living a normal life with a family, or just....Anything you can imagine....

I feel nothing about those result. No positive emotion comes out. It just all felt so...Pointless.

If I'm feeling anything right now, it would be worry for my father if he's okay.

That's right. It all circles back to him, it always does.

.....

Hehehehehe...Hahahaha...I wonder what kind of face Maine would make if I walked into a room with him, pulled out my gun and blew my brains out right infront of him? I'm sure he wouldn't be too bothered by it, shocked for sure, but nothing special.

We haven't known eachother for long enough or interacted enough for him to feel sad about my death.

See, now someone like Rebecca would probably feel sad about my deat-