Finding Rayna

Chapter 30

Before leaving the school, Andi and Charlotte asked if Conner and I would have dinner with them. William was a little fussy, so I was going to decline. "Rayna, go catch up with them. Your dad and I will keep William tonight. We will see you in the morning before the meeting with Martha."

"Thanks, mom," I say, hugging her and kissing William on the head before handing him to mom. Dad walks up to us, "Dad, Conner, and I are going out to eat with Char and Andi. Mom said the two of you would keep William tonight. He is a little fussy."

"Princess, go have fun. We will see you in the morning. We have that meeting with Martha. Carl wants to meet up with us afterward. He said something about wanting you to speak at a few more schools," dad says, smiling at me.

"Okay, we will see you in the morning," I say, grabbing Conner's hand and walking toward the exit. I was thinking about speaking at other schools. Is it what I want to do as I move on with my life? I can help others see that positively dealing with rape can help. Love seeing the faces of people who realize that they have the power to put others in jail for doing horrible things to them. I want to help others find some sort of help. I will speak at other schools.

I clear my head once Conner and I walk out of the school. We are meeting Andi and Char at the Mexican food restaurant in town. We still had an hour before we were to meet up. "Hey, kitten, do you want to go back to the hotel room to freshen up?" Conner asked.

"Yeah, that sounds good, love," I say, smiling at him. He reaches over and laces his fingers in mine. Then he kisses the back of my hand.

"Kitten, I love that nickname. It sounds good coming from your lips."

"Good, because I like how it sounds," I say, smiling at him.

The rest of the ride back to the hotel is in comfortable silence. I was content with the man beside me. However, I was a little nervous about a couple of things. The first was being at a restaurant with a woman who told her child to stay away from me. This lady knew what I was going through but didn't even continue to ensure I was safe. It pisses me off.

Well, it pisses me off a lot. How can a person just write off what she heard?

The second was having sex with Conner. We will be alone tonight; I told him I wanted to. I know I am ready and I want him. Don't know if he will be okay with me not being that experienced. He has been with a few girls. My only experience came from being raped. What if I have flashbacks of the rape and freak out? How will he react to that?

I am brought out of my anxious thoughts by the car turning off. Looking around and seeing that we are in the hotel parking lot. I glance over at Conner. He is looking at me with worry in his eyes, "Baby girl, what is running through that head of yours?" he asked.

"A lot. I told Andi that it was okay that she didn't try harder to understand what was happening to me, but it is far from okay with me," I say with a frown, then add, "I am also nervous about tonight. What if I can't satisfy you? I know I want to have sex with you, but I am scared at the same time."

"Kitten, you will more than satisfy me. I love you with everything in me. When we have sex, it will be more than sex. It will be making love. I won't do anything that will hurt you, I promise. I know that you have had a bad experience with it and will do everything I can to make this something you will always remember," Conner says, kissing me, then adds, "Let's go get ready for dinner," he opens his door and comes to my side of the car and helps me out.

We go to our room hand in hand. Conner unlocks the door and opens the door, letting me in first. Once he steps in and closes the door, he walks to me and pulls me in for a kiss. The kiss gets heated; he pulls away. "Join me in the shower?" he asked.