I made it so beautiful, all that pain, god did I make it a glimmering fantasy.
All that red, flashing behind my eye lids, I could paint the walls with it.
How alluring it can look.
Bones and skin in warm baths, bruises all down your legs.
Sheets bunched up at the end of your bed, god you slept till 3pm.
It somehow seems inviting.
The naked eye can't see what's waiting in the shadows of it all.
She lays there right, and she's un showered, her hair all messy and she looks so skinny, god wouldn't you love to be a mystery?
The hiraeth of it all, giving up is just so peaceful.
But it'll grab you by your hair, scalp you, pull you up and your feet will bleed the minute you take a step.
And the shadows will freeze you till you're practically dead, they will give you a reason to beg for your life again, but they will never save you.
Your reflection will jump out at you and force you to look at what you did, she will plead for you to stop ruining who she is.
And they will all beg for you too, but darling this wasn't magic, it wasn't some curse and if I drink this magic water I'll be all better.
No,no, it was a scrapping of the skin, gruesome skinning of the heart, it ripped me down through dirt and stones, breaking every bone, then tore me apart.
No,no, it was more of a grim murder, lured me with romanticized melancholy, then took me by surprise.
Only took so much to realize you can never be beautiful with the blue devil on your back, as he tears away at your flesh.
No it's not pretty to be his pet, desperation filling your head, but no honey you can't go home, you hurt the locksmith.
He won't quit, it's not a fantasy, it's a goddamn nightmare, there is no peace, he made a fool of you, and he will do it again.
