You took a lot from me, and I sat there breathlessly trying to become more than a brief enchantment till you held me up to the light and nothing was how you thought it'd be.
And it still hurts, honestly, that I wasn't enough for you.
But that's the thing is I gave you everything without even knowing so how can you just leave me, please?
I've never craved an ending so intensely, such a bitter reality.
I never see clearly, and it provokes my sanity.
And I know you aren't hurting because of me and I'm not sure why I wish you were or wish you knew that I do because that wouldn't change anything.
Because you honestly don't give a shit about me and I honestly don't give a shit about you, yet it terrifies me that feelings aren't always true and that things don't always stay the way you want them to.
So excuse me for still thinking of you and all the shit you put me through, even if it means nothing to you, it doesn't mean I'm not allowed to feel the things I do.
I'm tired of feeling guilty for this having an impact on me, for hurting and reflecting, because you lied to me again and again so why am I the one who feels crazy?
It's not so easy on me, honey, I can't keep pretending this wasn't anything to me.
You did affect me, even if you were only there for the time being, because it did change me and made me see things differently.
Oh how you've made a mess in my head, darling.
But why do I feel the need to write this poem tonight, messed up, thinking of you?
Why am I still stuck missing what I felt with you?
How can I long for something so untrue?
