I want you to feel the agony you caused me.
I want you to know the way you destroyed me.
It's so draining.
I can't even breathe, and when I look in the mirror my heart sinks.
I can't truly care the ways I want to, you've made me sadistic, I don't want to be this way.
I have to fix what you broke, it's like some sort of sick game.
I just wish you knew, I wish you fucking knew that you have led me to such dark places that I didn't even know I wasn't okay.
That I couldn't even cry or feel a single thing, for the longest time all I ever did was push people away.
And they tried so hard to get my attention, to find something inside me and I gave them nothing.
The things I was supposed to care about, the people, I put them all aside and let them slip away.
I hurt them while trying to understand my pain.
And because of you I'll never be the same, because of you I have to use so much energy just healing.
And blaming you for all this might seem entirely unreasonable but you know what you did to me.
Tell me that wouldn't change you.
