I'm Tired of My Brain

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It's always the same, I want to feel safe. 

I don't want to be in pain, yet I keep inflicting it in every way. 

And the last thing I want to do is make you feel it too. 

But every bone in my body tells me to destroy you before you can hurt me like everyone else before you. 

I keep detaching, playing games in my head, I'm sorry if it gets too cold at times. 

I'm sorry if you recognize when my eyes turn red and I lust for blood, or when I shut myself off and can't be touched. 

I'm scared, and I do care, I'm sorry if you can't see that, I'm trying so hard to let someone see inside my bones. 

It's not that pretty, you know? 

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