Another way (Young Royals)

The manor house girls

My sister had almost put the palace on fire. She was absolutely crazy. I did not know what she had been thinking. Or if she was thinking at all. When Wille and I got down to the manor house Sara was puking up. She had gotten too much that night. Felice was holding her hair back. Stella and Fredrika were in Felice and Sara's room and snogged each other senselessly on Felice's bed.

"Are you okay, Sara?" I asked her from the doorway.

"I am alright," she said. She was not very convincing. The hangover she would have to deal with the morning after would not be nice, I had a feeling. I had never been hungover, or drunk even. But I knew how she would feel the morning after that. "I can look after myself, Simon. You can go and sleep if you want to." Wille and I looked at each other.

"Are you really sure about that?" I asked her.

"I am tired. I just want to go and sleep," she replied.

"Well Felice might want to find herself another bed because hers is occupied by Stella and Fredrika," Wille commented. "And they are snogging."

"Can they just confess that they like each other or are they going to pretend that there is nothing but friendship between them?" Felice said jokingly. It was obviously just a joke, but apparently they heard us from the bathroom. Stella was soon standing in the doorway. And she was mad.

"Sara, have you told them?" she shouted. "You promised that you would not."

"Tell them what?" Fredrika asked Stella. She clearly did not understand what was going on.

"I can't fucking believe you," Stella shouted. What did Sara know that Stella did not want the rest of us to know?

"I have not told anyone anything, Stella. I can't help that they have figured it out," Sara replied. She was still hunched down by the toilet, puking her guts out every few minutes.

"What have you figured out?" Fredrika asked. Stella ran out the door. She was mad. Really mad. I did not know if she was actually scared. Fredrika was her best friend. And they had been friends since they were little. They were inseparable. She must have been scared it would endif Fredrika found out.

"That Stella was the one who wrote you that poem for the Valentine Bal," I said. "And she is kind of in love with you." The realisation that her best friend had at least a crush on her made Fredrika look surprised. But it did not seem like a completely foreign thought.

"Oh shit," Fredrika whispered and turned away and also went out the door. The rest of us looked at each other.

"What did we start? What if this ends badly?" Felice said.

"What if it ends wonderfully? I think they have mutual feelings for each other," Sara said.

"How can you know that?" Felice replied.

"Felice, I have known that Simon and Wille were crushing on each other before they probably had told each other yet. And if my dear brother and Wille were not very discreet about it, Stella and Fredrika are obvious," Sara said. "If they are not in love, you better believe I will eat horse poop for dinner tomorrow." Wille and I looked at each other. We really were not that discreet about our relationship at the beginning. God I had even held his hand at the movie night, where anyone could have seen us.

"We will not forget that, Sara. If they are not both in love we will make sure to serve you some delicious horse poop tomorrow," Wille said. That made us all laugh. Wille and I helped my drunk sister to bed and Felice remade her bed so she could go to sleep. The secret love birds had left it in a mess.

"Good night, boys," Sara and Felice said when we were about to leave.

"Good night," Wille and I replied.

"Play nicely with each other," Felice teased.

"We will," I replied with a grin. Then we shut the door and I pulled Wille towards our dorm. When we were finally there we both laid down on our bed and fell asleep in each other's arms.

*********

*Fredrika's POV*

I had been so dumb. I could not understand how I had not realised it before. Stella was in love with me. And now she was distraught that I knew. I went after her to our dorm and found her laying on our bed, crying her eyes out.

"Stella," I said.

"I don't want to talk about it," she said. I came up to the bed and sat down gently by her side.

"Maybe this can be a conversation for tomorrow? We are both a bit drunk and tired right now. Let's go to bed," I said. She looked up at me. Her mascara was all over her face. I took her hand and led her to the bathroom and helped her get her makeup off and change into pyjamas. I put toothpaste on her toothbrush and she brushed her teeth. I quickly changed into pyjamas and washed my face. Then I pulled Stella into our bedroom and had her lay down on her side of the bed. I went over to my side of the bed and laid down next to her.

"Can I hold you like I usually do?" I asked her. It felt like I had to ask now that the nature of our relationship within seconds had changed. At least to her. To me, she was still my pretty Stella. She was my entire world. She nodded.

"If you want to," she replied. I pulled myself closer to her and held her in my arms. Just like I usually did. I felt the smell of her shampoo from her blonde hair in my nostrils as I breathed in.

"I love you," I whispered when she had fallen asleep. Therefore she could not reply. I loved her. And maybe I was in love with her too. Maybe I had not realised it before. Our friendship has always been different from others. I had guessed it was because we had known each other the longest. But maybe it was not just that. I had thought that the feeling I had in my chest when we kissed was because she was the most important person in my life. I had never felt it with anyone else. It had never occurred weird to me until now. At last I too fell asleep. Nervous about what was to come the morning after. I did not want to break our relationship. It was the most beautiful thing I had in my life. We could not let it die. Not slip away from us. I dreamed a lot that night, until I woke up by the sunlight going through the window. Stella was still sleeping. I laid next to her. I could not keep my eyes away from her. I could almost not believe that she liked me. But in a way I could. Because I loved her. I was not sure if it was platonic or if it could be romantic love between us. I had never let myself explore that possibility with a girl. I was a girl and I had grown up with that girls could only like boys and boys could only like girls. But that was obviously not true. It was limitations that I had put up on myself, because it was those rules that were taught to me. If I let myself love her the way she wanted to be loved, maybe I could. When she opened her eyes I smiled at her.

"Hi," I said. Let my fingers play with her hair. I felt that she reacted another way to my touch than usual. She was more scared.

"Hi," she replied. She did not smile.

"I feel like we have to talk," I said.

"I suppose we do," she said and sighed.

"For how long have you been in love with me?" I asked her.

"I don't know. Yes, I do. Since the beginning of last semester," she said.

"And why did you not tell me?" I asked.

"Because I was afraid of ruining everything. I still am," she said. "And losing you would hurt worse than anything else." I saw tears in the corner of her eyes.

"You won't lose me. Okay?" I replied. "I love you, Stella. And nothing can change that."

"Do you?" she asked. I nodded.

"I love you more than I love myself, don't you see that?" I replied. "This is all new to me though. And I don't want to ever ruin our relationship. If we take things slowly so that we have time to process everything, maybe we could see where this path leads?" Stella nodded. Smiled her first smile. I loved her smile. It was the most beautiful thing in this world.

"Can I kiss you?" she asked me. I nodded. Soon I felt her warm lips against mine. And I knew that whatever happened, we would figure it out along the way. And she would have to get rid of me if she ever wanted me to leave her side.