Another way (Young Royals)

The dorm

Even if I had rather stayed with Erik in the hospital, I had to go back to school. People said it might be good for me to go back to some kind of normalcy. But it did not. Whatever I did, I thought about Erik. Him alone in that hospital. Without anyone who actually cared about him. He was the crown prince of Sweden, and still he had to be on his own. And I felt lonely too, in a way. No one understood what kind of relationship we had. How important Erik was to me. He was the only one who had lived like I had. Not even Simon could understand the depth of our relationship. What we shared. The unique things that only we could relate to. And now, that Erik that I had known all my life, was suddenly just gone. He was not dead, but he was not the same as he had been. He had been the fun, responsible big brother. Someone who had cared for me all my life. And now he could not. And that hurt, worse than maybe anyone could understand. Erik and I needed each other. And I hated to leave him. But I had to. I had to get my education, so that I could do something with my life that was far away from the royal family. I knew I probably had to move somewhere else, abroad, to get to live in peace. Here I was recognized. But maybe I just had to live with that for the rest of my life. Simon's first single had dropped just before school started, and everyone was talking about it. And I was proud of him. I really was. But I had other things on my mind, and I could not take it all in the way I would have wanted to. And I was a bit scared too. What if he became this big popstar and he had to quit Hillerska? What if I would lose him too? I just wanted everything to be as it used to be. And it was egoistic of me. I knew that. Of course I wanted Simon to reach his full potential as an artist, but I was scared of the change. What it would mean for us, as a couple. I had still not figured out who I was beyond my old prince title.

"What are you thinking about sweetheart?" Simon asked me. He must have seen that I had spiralled into my own thoughts, far away. I was standing in front of the desk in our dorm at Hillerska, looking out through the window. The window that could have ruined everything. Simon sat on the bed, fiddling with a rubix cube. I could not lie to him, because he would see right through it.

"That I am scared," I said.

"About what?" Simon asked. He stood up and slowly embraced me into a hug.

"About things changing. Erik is not like he used to be and you are becoming this big popstar," I replied. His fingers touched me gently.

"Baby, I have released one song. It is not like I am some big pop star," Simon said. He had a little grin on his lips. "And even if my music breaks through, it won't change anything between us, right? Is that what you are scared of? Me finding someone else?" I shook my head. I had thought of it though. I would lie if I said I had not. He was extremely pretty. Talented. Sweet. Who would not want a guy like that? I did not want to admit I had thought it though.

"Because if you even think for a moment that I would leave you, you are very wrong, Wille," he said. He did not buy it when I shook my head then. He took a deep breath in. He was frustrated. I knew he was.

"How can you be so sure about that?" I asked. Simon looked at me, as if I was a bit crazy to even ask.

"Because I fucking love you," he said. "Is that so hard to believe?" In some way it was. What was I? An anxious, rebellious ex-prince with an identity crisis. I did not know what I wanted, except for being with him. But I had nothing to offer him. He was clever, beautiful and talented. Did I really deserve someone as wonderful as him? Maybe. Maybe not.

"Yeah. What do I have to offer you, Simon? Compared to all those talented people you have met and will keep meeting throughout your career, what am I?" I asked.

"You are my boyfriend, Wille. And that is enough. You are enough just as you are. You might not know what you want to do with your future, but so what? Most seventeen year old people do not know what they want to do in the future. You are not weird for not knowing," he said. He seemed a little bit upset. "You have just been told who to be for almost seventeen years of your life. Of course it will take time to figure things out when you finally do what you want to do." His lips were close to mine, so I ended the conversation by kissing them. I did not want to upset him, just because I was feeling anxious. And I did not really want to say what I thought out loud. What if I found myself, but became someone he did not love? If I changed so much that we were no longer compatible? I needed him. And I loved him. That was why I was so sickly afraid to lose him. I knew that I would not recover from that. I kissed him hungrily. As if I would actually lose him, any moment. He pulled me against the bed. I looked behind me and realised the curtains were not closed. I left him on the bed for a moment to close them. When I returned to him, I flew into his strong arms. Our lips did not part ways, more than when we needed to breathe. His hands wandered over my clothes. I felt his fingers undo the buttons on my shirt. My own hands travelled under the hem of his shirt and hoodie. His skin was warm and smooth. And he was the prettiest boy in the entire world. I wanted all of him. Needed him. Our bodies tight together, skin to skin. The clothes fell to the floor, until the only fabric was the sheets of the bed. He smelled amazing. His body felt amazing against mine.

"I love you so much, Simon," I said.

"And I love you, Wille," he replied, before initiating another make out session. I was so into him that I didn't even notice the door opening. I only reacted because Simon did.

"Oh shit. Sorry guys," Henry said. "I totally didn't see anything at all." What did he want? And why in the world did he not knock on the door?

"Out of our dorm, Henry!" Simon hissed, obviously not impressed with the interruption.

"Oh, okay. I am on my way. I saw nothing, I promise," he repeated and then he disappeared and closed the door. He had definitely seen us.

"I am going to kill him later. Don't tell anyone where I hid the body, okay?" Simon joked. I laughed. "How is it that he always interrupts us? Does he never knock?"

"Maybe we should have a warning sign on the door," I replied. Simon giggled.

"What would it say then?" he asked.

"Interrupt and Simon will make sure no one finds your body?" I proposed. I felt through his curls with my fingers. Simon kissed me again.

"If that is what it takes to keep people from entering our dorm," he said. We smiled at each other.

"But make sure I won't have to cuddle you in jail, okay?" I joked.

"I promise," he said. 

Author's note

I am back with another chapter. I needed to distract myself from some nerves, as the legal completion I am taking part of is taking place this weekend. After this Sunday I finally have summer holidays. I am exhausted after this semester, and I really need some time off school. It is my last summer as a student too. Next year I will be a lawyer, which is sick. 

I will hopefully be able to write some more over the summer, so there will probably be some more updates on here. I just have to sleep for a week and become human again first. I hope you all have a nice summer! 

- A.A.