Another way (Young Royals)

The after party

I had been at the formal after party and somehow I had lost Wille in the crowd when we went to the informal after party. At the formal after party there were cameras and a lot of media people. The informal seemed more relaxed, as it was mostly the backstage crew and their friends. My phone was dead, so I had no way of contacting Wille though. I hoped I would find him later, and went along with the other young people who had been working with the production in some way. I was obviously one of the younger there, as the crew backstage had at least finished high school. Someone gave me a glass that smelled suspiciously similar to alcohol. I had never been drinking before.

"Is this alcoholic?" I asked the dude who had handed me the drink.
"Yeah," he replied. I tried to hand it back to him, but he would not take the glass back. "Boy you have won the biggest musical competition in the country. No one here will judge you for celebrating, man." I was not even eighteen yet. I nodded a little and went further in, still with the glass in my hand. People cheered as I walked inside.

"And here we have the winner himself. Cheers guys," a girl shouted. Everyone raised their glass, for me. Then they drank, for me. I felt awkward and did not want to seem rude. So I swallowed it all at once. It tasted terribly. I had always hated alcohol, even if I had not had any myself before. Just the smell could make me feel sick. It reminded me of my father too much.

"And here we have someone who likes a shot, I see," the girl commented. Probably it was not the kind of alcohol you were supposed to shot, because people looked weirdly impressed by me drinking it all in one go. "Bring him another!" Before I could object I had a new glass in my hand and they cheered once again. We did not stop until I had at least five. Maybe fifteen. I did not count. My body felt weird. My brain felt kind of cloudy. I realised that I was intoxicated. Before anyone could hand me another shot or a drink, I went out on the dancefloor and danced. I tried to look for Wille as well. But it was hard to make out who anyone was in the dark. And the music was loud. Maybe it was better if I did not find Wille while being in this state. I was not sober, that was for sure. Even if I knew he had not been God's best child and obtained alcohol until he turned eighteen, I had made an attempt to not drink at all. And I had failed spectacularly in doing so. And I kind of felt ashamed that I had let peer pressure of everything in the world get to me. That I had failed to uphold my own values. I had judged people who drank alcohol before they turned eighteen myself. And now I was one of those people. Without me knowing how it happened, I was dancing with a guy that was uncomfortably close to my personal space. I usually only let Wille that close to me. But once again, I did not know how to get out of the situation and I felt like I was a bit too drunk to even figure it out. As long as he did not kiss me, I told myself it would be fine. I could not really see what he even looked like and I could not really tell if he was talking to me. I could not hear due to the loud music, and I could not see in the dark and the alcohol in my blood. It had blurred my vision. I got a bit unsteady and the boy in front of me held me up in his strong arms. I felt a strangely familiar scent surround us.

"Easy there, Simon," he said and I felt him chuckle against my body. He was sweet. Cute. And he smelled like literal heaven. Again, before I knew how it happened I kissed him. I had my lips on his and we were making out, pretty aggressively. And it felt good. So good. I had my hands in his hair and on his muscular back. It tasted a lot better than the alcohol I had consumed earlier that night. It tasted like peppermint gum.

"Let's get you out of here, okay?" the tall guy said. I nodded and let him lead me outside. The streetlights were blurry and there were people everywhere outside the party as well. He got a cab and got me inside before climbing in himself. He told the driver an address that sounded familiar, but right then and there I did not know where I had heard it before. Kissing him had felt so good on the dance floor, so I caught him in my arms and kissed him desperately. Like I would not kiss anyone after that night. I did not know who he was, but his lips were as soft as Wille's. And his arms were as strong. Kissing him made me feel so good, but at the same time I felt a really bad conscience building up. I was probably cheating, and I knew I should not kiss him. But I did anyway. Because I could not stop. And I loved the feeling of butterflies flying around in my stomach. Infatuated. The lovely feeling of falling. But simultaneously I hated myself for it, because I should not be doing it. Because I had the best lover anyone could ask for and now I might have thrown it all away.